Let's suggest/49

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Let's suggest/49
Message de here4u posté le 01-11-2023 à 16:37:52 (S | E | F)
Hello, dear writers!

Another new topic for you to write about. I hope many will participate enthusiastically, and that you'll do it as well as ever... Don't forget, you may help us in two different ways:

- either you send your try and we'll help you...
OR:
- You can be one of the rescuers and help remove the possible mistakes ! In both cases, you'll be sincerely thanked for it!

You mustn't be afraid of making mistakes... We LOVE mistakes, because they give us an opportunity to explain and correct them!

Here is today's topic: "Are Dreams and Aspirations important in your life" (140 to 150 words.)

Voici le rappel des modalités de la première partie de l'exercice :
1. Je vous demande une EXPRESSION sur le sujet proposé à m’envoyer en mp dès que possible …
2. Très vite, cette première expression sera publiée sur le Forum, et CHACUN sera libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les erreurs EN BLEU - ou en majuscules si vous ne pouvez pas utiliser les couleurs- , et en soulignant ce qui vous semble maladroit et que vous voudriez changer, sans donner votre « correction » (forme correcte), à ce moment là, comme il se doit.) Si un autre membre a déjà indiqué des erreurs en bleu, VOUS DEVEZ repartir de cette correction et la confirmer ou la corriger... Un seul essai à la fois sera publié pour corriger… Vous pourrez ensuite donner vos suggestions de correction (en vert!)

IMPORTANT ! Pour me faciliter le transfert des corrections successives de vos travaux sur le site, pourriez vous m'indiquer par un "(" le mot ou segment de phrase qui devrai(en)t être modifié(s), s'il vous plaît ?
ie. (I'm repeating for years... ou (was not only to want something,... Pourquoi ? Simplement parce que le site ne "garde" pas les indications de couleurs ou de soulignement etc. dès que l'on copie... Donc, je prends vos travaux, je les corrige au fur et à mesure avec les codes "bleu" ou "souligné" ou "vert", mais au moment où je vous poste la correction, je perds tout mon travail... et dois tout refaire mot à mot en direct avec deux fenêtres ou même deux écrans pour un travail fastidieux de copie point par point! Merci de votre aide !

Les modalités complètes sont accessibles sur le lien suivant :
Lien internet

( Je vous les rappellerai au fur et à mesure de la progression du travail )
Cet exercice sera ce que vous en ferez ou ou **
Do your best, I trust You!
Correction en ligne le dimanche 12 novembre 2023.
J'attends vos envois en mp et publierai le premier dès que possible.

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU and with us!

Réponse : Let's suggest/49 de benlah, postée le 02-11-2023 à 09:26:18 (S | E)
Merci pour le sujet

Réponse : Let's suggest/49 de here4u, postée le 02-11-2023 à 09:59:08 (S | E)
Hello benlah!

Glad you like it! You may send me your try when it's ready!

Réponse : Let's suggest/49 de here4u, postée le 04-11-2023 à 13:00:29 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Here is our first EXPRESSION! to our volunteer and for "playing the game" so well!

EXPRESSION N°1: Are dreams and aspirations important in your life?

As far as I'm concerned, I'm a dreamer and my life has always been divided between dreams and reality,
Dreams and aspirations have their reasons; firstly, dreams allow us to escape from a reality that is often gloomy, so dreams give me a glimpse of a rosier life.
Secondly, aspirations enable us to move forward, and give us a goal to aim for, so for me it's what gives me the courage to get up in the morning and start my day off on the right foot.
When one goal is achieved, I look for another and set off on another adventure.It is what gives my life meaning.
In conclusion, I would advise you to follow through on your dreams, even if the results can sometimes be disappointing. It's better to live with disappointment than regret. 151 mots

Indications (in blue) till Nov.6th. Suggestions in green from the 7th in the morning.
for your help!

Réponse : Let's suggest/49 de here4u, postée le 07-11-2023 à 14:34:50 (S | E)
Hello dears!

EXPRESSION N°1: my indications:

As far as I'm concerned, I'm a dreamer and my life has always been divided between dreams and reality,
Dreams and aspirations have their reasons; firstly, dreams allow us to escape from a reality that is often gloomy, so dreams give me a glimpse of a rosier life.
Secondly, aspirations enable us to move forward, and give us a goal to aim for, so for me it's what gives me the courage to get up in the morning and start my day off on the right foot.
When one goal is achieved, I look for another and set off on another adventure. It is what gives my life X meaning.
In conclusion, I would advise you to follow through on your dreams, even if the results can sometimes be disappointing. It's better to live with disappointment than regret. 151 mots

TB! Peu de changements à apporter!

Edit: Sorry! Hier, j'étais " Hors Service " après grosse réaction à mon vaccin anti Covid... les parenthèses mises à "start off on the right foot" devaient être considérées comme nulles et non avenues... Je les ai supprimées ! Vraiment désolée, Magie !

Réponse : Let's suggest/49 de magie8, postée le 08-11-2023 à 00:26:09 (S | E)
Hello,
EXPRESSION N°1: my indications: MA CORRECTION THANK YOU POUR LES INDICATIONS

As far as I'm concerned, I'm a dreamer and my life has always been divided between dreams and reality,
Dreams and aspirations have their reasons; firstly, dreams allow us to escape from a reality that is often (THEN or THEREFORE) dreams give me a glimpse of a rosier life.
Secondly, aspirations enable us to move forward, and give us a goal to aim for, so for me it's what gives me the courage to get up in the morning and start my day off (BY A BLASTOFF).
When one goal is achieved, I look for another and set off on another adventure. It is what gives A MEANING IN MY LIFE).
In conclusion, I would advise you to follow through on your dreams, even if the results can sometimes be disappointing. It's better to live with disappointment than regret. 151 mots

Réponse : Let's suggest/49 de here4u, postée le 09-11-2023 à 17:20:28 (S | E)
Hello dears,

EXPRESSION N°2: please, indicate possible mistakes, and underline what looks clumsy to you...

I have dreams and aspirations, but they are difficult to reach, already impossible. This is very frustrating, because I dream of a good job with a lot of money, and for that, you need good grades and expensive schools that my parents will can never pay. So, I say to me that it’s not worth to work at school. I prefer playing at video games with my friends or do skateboard, I love that. One of my aspiration is to be champion of skateboard. But even there, I’m not too good. I know I will never be champion and I am deceived.
For now, my aspirations is to get to the Bac – everybody have it… It becomes less difficult, same if the teachers repeat that it’s necessary to work if we want to get it. My parents will be very enjoying if I got it, but I don’t know really that I want to do with it. I think work is boring, and people have to work for so long time before they can stop and enjoy. 182 words

Can you help this writer? for trying! (and even more if you succeed!)

Réponse : Let's suggest/49 de amalia80, postée le 09-11-2023 à 18:45:22 (S | E)
Hello
EXPRESSION N°2: please, indicate possible mistakes, and underline what looks clumsy to you...

I have dreams and aspirations, but they are difficult to reach, already impossible. This is very frustrating, because I dream of a good job with a lot of money, and for that, you need good grades and expensive schools that my parents
( will never can pay. So, I ( say to me that it’s not worth(to work at school. I prefer playing at video games with my friends or( do skateboard I love that. One of my(aspiration a is ( to be champion of skateboard. But even there, I’m not too good. I know I will never be x champion and I am deceived.
( For now, my aspirations is to get to the(bac – everybody( have it… It becomes less difficult, (same if the teachers repeat that it’s necessary to work if we want to get it. My parents will be very( enjoying if I(got it, but I don’t know really(that that I want to do with it. I think work is boring, and people have to work for(so long time before they ( can stop and enjoy . 182 words

Réponse : Let's suggest/49 de here4u, postée le 11-11-2023 à 21:44:53 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Green allowed.

Réponse : Let's suggest/49 de amalia80, postée le 12-11-2023 à 18:23:05 (S | E)
EXPRESSION N°2: suggestions...

I have dreams and aspirations, but they are difficult to reach, (if not impossible. This is very frustrating, because I dream of a good job with a lot of money, and for that, you need good grades and expensive schools that my parents
( will never be able to pay for. So, I ( tell myself that it’isn't worth( working at school. I prefer playing video games with my friends or( going skateboarding I love that. One of my(aspirations is ( to become a skateboarding champion. But even there, I’m not very good. I know I will never be a champion and I am deceived.
( For the time being,, my aspirations are to get my O 'Levels – everybody( has it… It becomes less difficult, (evenif the teachers repeat that it’s necessary to work if we want to get it. My parents will be very( happy if I(get it, but I don’t know really(what I want to do with it. I think working is boring, and people have to work for a long time before ( being able to stop and enjoy themselves . 182 word

Réponse : Let's suggest/49 de mamylistele, postée le 12-11-2023 à 18:33:08 (S | E)

I have dreams and aspirations, but they are difficult to reach, even impossible. This is very frustrating, because I dream of a good job with a lot of money, and for that, you need good grades and expensive schools that my parents will never be able to afford.
So, I think it is not worth working at school . I prefer playing at video games with my friends or skateboarding I love that. One of my dream is ( to be a champion of skateboard. But even there, I’m not too good. I know I will never be a champion and I am disappointed.

Réponse : Let's suggest/49 de here4u, postée le 12-11-2023 à 23:13:54 (S | E)
Hello dears,

Voici les suggestions que vous avez faites et ce qui peut vous aider à encore plus de précision !
Bravo pour votre travail et vos suggestions !

EXPRESSION N°1: Are dreams and aspirations important in your life? : initial text.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm a dreamer and my life has always been divided between dreams and reality,
Dreams and aspirations have their reasons; firstly, dreams allow us to escape from a reality that is often gloomy, so dreams give me a glimpse of a rosier life.
Secondly, aspirations enable us to move forward, and give us a goal to aim for, so for me it's what gives me the courage to get up in the morning and start my day off on the right foot.
When one goal is achieved, I look for another and set off on another adventure.It is what gives my life meaning.
In conclusion, I would advise you to follow through on your dreams, even if the results can sometimes be disappointing. It's better to live with disappointment than regret. 151 mots

EXPRESSION N°1: my indications:

As far as I'm concerned, I'm a dreamer and my life has always been divided between dreams and reality,(virgule ?)
Dreams and aspirations have their reasons; firstly, dreams allow us to escape from a reality that is often gloomy, so dreams give me a glimpse of a rosier life.
Secondly, aspirations enable usB to move forward, and give us a goal to aim for, so (for me) it's what gives me the courage to get up in the morning and start my day off on the right foot.
When one goal is achieved, I look for another XXX and set off on another adventure. It is what gives my life X meaning.
In conclusion, I would advise you to follow through on your dreams, even if the results can sometimes be disappointing. It's better to live with disappointment than (with) regret. 151 mots
Bien ! Très peu de modifications nécessaires.

EXPRESSION N°1: Magie’s suggestions:

As far as I'm concerned, I'm a dreamer and my life has always been divided between dreams and reality(,
Dreams and aspirations have their reasons/ justifications ( ?); firstly, dreams allow us to escape from a reality that is often gloomy. (THEN or THEREFORE) dreams give me a glimpse of a rosier life.
Secondly, aspirations enable us to move forward, and give us a goal to aim for(, (phrase trop longue, à couper !)so) for me it's what gives me the courage to get up in the morning and start my day off (BY A BLASTOFF).
When one goal is achieved, I look for another XXX and set off on another adventure. It is what gives A MEANING (IN TO MY LIFE).
(In conclusion, I would advise you to follow through on your dreams, even if the results can sometimes be disappointing. It's better to live with disappointment than XXXX regret. 151 mots OK.

- Pursue my dream/ follow up on my dream/
- Follow up on: checking in or providing an update,
- Follow through on stg: continue to completion. Mener à bien ce que l’on entreprend/ aller au fond des choses.
- Follow through on something: donner suites à : taking responsibility, staying committed, and seeing things to the end.
- 'another': I look for another: 'another': an + other, peut être adjectif ou pronom. En anglais britannique, on rajouterait ‘one’ ici, derrière ‘another’.
- Juste pour la curiosité, différence entre ‘aim for’ et ‘aim at’: Lien internet

- To give a meaning: donner un sens.
- In conclusion : est maladroit et à éviter, surtout dans un examen. To conclude/ to sum up/ voir : Lien internet

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

EXPRESSION n°2: initial text:

I have dreams and aspirations, but they are difficult to reach, (already impossible. (This is very frustrating, because I dream of a good job with a lot of money, (and for that, you need good grades and expensive schools that my parents (will can never pay. So, I (say to me that it’s not worth (to work at school. I prefer playing (at) video games with my friends or do skateboard(, I love that. (One of my aspiration is to (be X champion of skateboard. But even there, I’m not too good. I know I will never be X champion and I am (deceived.
(For now, my (aspirations is to get to the Bac – everybody (have it… It( becomes less difficult, (same if the teachers repeat that it’s necessary to work if we want to get it. My parents will be very (enjoying if I (got it,(concordance des temps à revoir dans les deux verbes !) but I (don’t know really that I want to do with it. I think work is boring(, and ? people have to work for (so long time before they can stop and (enjoy. 182 words
Beaucoup d’erreurs dans cette expression. Bien suivre les corrections.

EXPRESSION N°2: Magie’s indications:

I have dreams and aspirations, but they are difficult to reach, (already impossible. This is very frustrating, because I dream of a good job with a lot of money, (and for that, you need good grades and expensive schools that my parents ( will never can pay. So, I (say to me that it’s not worth (to work at school. I prefer playing (at video games with my friends or ( do skateboard XX (ponctuation ?)I love that. One of my(aspiration (a is ( to be champion of skateboard. But even there, I’m not too good. I know I will never be x champion and I am (deceived.
( For now, my aspirations (is to get to the(bac – everybody( have it… It (becomes less difficult, (same if the teachers repeat that it’s necessary to work if we want to get it. My parents will be very( enjoying if I(got it, but I don’t know really(that that ?? I want to do with it. I think work is boring, and people have to work for(so long time before they ( can stop and enjoy . 182 words

EXPRESSION N°2: Amelia’s suggestions...

I have dreams and aspirations, but they are difficult to reach, (already impossible. This is very frustrating, because I dream of a good job (with a lot of money, (and for that, you need good grades and expensive schools that my parents ( will never be able to pay for. B So, I ( tell myself B that it’s not worth( working at school. B I prefer playing video games with my friends or( going skateboarding I love that. One of my(aspirations B is ( to become a skateboarding champion. But (even there, I’m not very good. I know I will never be x champion and I am (deceived.
( For the time being,B / just now/ , my aspirations are to get my O 'Levels – everybody( has (it(Bac)/ them(O’levels)… It becomes less difficult, (even if the teachers repeat that it’s necessary to work if we want to get (it. (toujours le Bac) My parents will be very( happy if I(get (it, but I don’t know (really(what (ordre des mots) I want to do with( it. * I think working is boring, and people have to work for a long time before ( being able to stop and enjoy themselves . 182 words
De très bonnes suggestions. BRAVO !
*Lorsqu’une modification est effectuée, n’oubliez pas de la répéter jusqu’au bout de la phrase… sinon vous créez d’autres erreurs !

EXPRESSION N°2: mamylistele’s suggestions...

I have dreams and aspirations, but they are difficult to reach, evenB / almost ? impossible. This is very frustrating, because I dream of a good job with a lot of money, (and for that, you need good grades and expensive schools that my parents will never be able to afford.B
So, I think it is not worth working at school . B I prefer playing (at video games with my friends or skateboarding B I love that. One (of my dream is ( to be a champion of skateboard. But even there, I’m not too good. I know I will never be a champion and I am disappointed.
Excellentes suggestions. Dommage que le texte ne soit pas en entier !

- but they are difficult to reach, (already impossible : already (déjà) a été corrigé en ‘even’ (même) qui convient./ Je suggère almost (presque).
- of a good job (with a lot of : earning?/ bringing?
- will never can : impossible, bien sûr, de mettre ‘can’ au futur. Utiliser l’équivalent : will never be able to…
- je me dis : I tell myself.
- It isn’t worth + V + ing.
- ‘Playing’ et ‘going’ était sur le même plan et nécessitaient donc une forme en V+ ing.
- To play/ tennis/ video games/ football etc.
- L’expression ‘one of the….’ est toujours suivi d’un pluriel.

Bravo à vous qui avez bien travaillé ! Encore une fois, vous avez quelques jours pour poster toute correction que vous voudrez bien ajouter au sujet des DEUX EXPRESSIONS. Tout Follow Up Work sera le bienvenu !

Encore et

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