<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas
Floating homes/correction
Message de pierrepenne posté le 17-06-2009 à 20:23:14 (S | E | F)
bonjour,
pourriez-vous modifier/corriger mon petit paragraphe.
merci d'avance.
There are a lot of other advantages and drawbacks of these floating homes.
First of all, these houses have to be fit out specific and expensive materials. That's means only rich people will buy and will enjoy these news houses.
In the event of flood, the residents need a ship to go to work, to move, to feed and make all the activities outside.
Regarding the advantages, thanks to these houses, entire towns could be created on the sea and the uprising water level will be controlled.
Make a long story short, the floating homes are useful to confront effects of climate change but are available only for the wealthy.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 17-06-2009 20:56
forum
Message de pierrepenne posté le 17-06-2009 à 20:23:14 (S | E | F)
bonjour,
pourriez-vous modifier/corriger mon petit paragraphe.
merci d'avance.
There are a lot of other advantages and drawbacks of these floating homes.
First of all, these houses have to be fit out specific and expensive materials. That's means only rich people will buy and will enjoy these news houses.
In the event of flood, the residents need a ship to go to work, to move, to feed and make all the activities outside.
Regarding the advantages, thanks to these houses, entire towns could be created on the sea and the uprising water level will be controlled.
Make a long story short, the floating homes are useful to confront effects of climate change but are available only for the wealthy.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 17-06-2009 20:56
forum
Réponse: Floating homes/correction de brettdallen, postée le 18-06-2009 à 00:20:06 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Je vais signaler ce qui peut être amélioré.
There are a lot of other advantages and drawbacks of these floating homes("houses"?)(cette phrase devrait être remaniée. Je commencerais par "These floating houses"..).
First of all, these houses have to be(vous utilisez l'infinitif passif, donc le verbe doit être au participe passé) fit out(il manque quelque chose, à ce niveau) specific and expensive materials. That's("This") means("that") only rich people will buy and will enjoy these news(adjectif! donc...) houses.
In the event of flood, the residents need("would have to travel by+ means of transport") a ship(vous savez ce que c'est "a ship"?) to go to work, to move?("travel"?), to feed("get some food"?) and make all the(ir) activities outside.
Regarding the advantages, thanks to these houses, entire towns could be created on the sea and the uprising water level will be controlled(non! mais on arriverait à s'en accommoder).
Make("To make") a long story short, the floating homes are useful to confront("to face the") effects of climate change but are available only(revoir la place de cet adverbe) for the wealthy(pourquoi pas un superlatif?).
Je n'ai pas tout souligné, mais vous avez déjà du travail.
Cordialement.
Réponse: Floating homes/correction de pierrepenne, postée le 18-06-2009 à 21:52:19 (S | E)
merci merci beaucoup de votre réponse!
Ca va me faire bien progresser.
donc si je recommence:
These floating houses have a lot of other advantages and drawbacks.
First of all, these houses have to been fit out of specific and expensive materials. This means that only rich people will buy and will enjoy these new houses.
In the event of flood, the residents would have to travel by a boat to go to work, to travel, to get some food and make all their activities outside.
Regarding the advantages, thanks to these houses, entire towns could be created on the sea and the uprising water level will be controlled.
To make a long story short, the floating homes are useful to face the effects of climate change but are only available for the wealthiest.
Merci de me répondre pour confirmation.
Amicalement
