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Correction/Nobel Prize

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Nobel Prize
Message de milasosa posté le 10-02-2015 à 18:56:08 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
est-ce possible de m'aider à corriger mes fautes d'anglais ?
Merci pour vos réponses.
Le texte est le suivant :

My heroine is Malala Yousafzai, she receives lately the Nobel Price of the peace. She's fighting for the pakistani's women and children 's rights . At only seventeen years old she risked her life life for the others and she survives to a murder atempt. She fights for the education and she allowed to the pakistani to dream for the peace. She's leading for her country, she opposed to the talibans. Her courage inmense make it her a real heroine. In efect for me a heroe is a person who think to the others before her.

Merci !

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 10-02-2015 20:27



Réponse: Correction/Nobel Prize de here4u, postée le 11-02-2015 à 11:23:03 (S | E)
Hello !

My heroine is Malala Yousafzai, she receives (tense)lately the Nobel Price(What's the price of Peace?) of the peace. She's fighting for the pakistani's women XX and children 's rights . At only seventeen years old she risked her life life for the others and she survives to (tense and construction) a murder atempt(spelling). She fights for the education and she allowed to the pakistani to dream for the peace. She's leading(She's a leader?) for her country, she opposed to the talibans. Her courage inmense make it her a real heroine(construction). In efect for me a heroe is a person who think to the others before her.



Réponse: Correction/Nobel Prize de milasosa, postée le 11-02-2015 à 18:56:54 (S | E)
Merci !

My heroine is Malala Yousafzai, she receives lately the Nobel Peace Prize. She's fighting for the Pakistani women and the children 's rights . At only seventeen years old she risked her life life for the others and she survives that a murder attempt. She’s fighting for education and she allowed the Pakistani to dream for peace. She's surpassing for her country, she opposed the talibans. Her courage inmense make her a real heroine. Indeed for me a hero is a person who consider to the others before her.



Réponse: Correction/Nobel Prize de here4u, postée le 11-02-2015 à 23:28:09 (S | E)
Hello again !

My heroine is Malala Yousafzai, she receives lately(lately = récemment => présent simple impossible !) the Nobel Peace Prize. She's fighting for the Pakistani women and the children 's rights . At only seventeen years old she risked her life life for the others and she survives that a murder attempt. She’s fighting for education and she allowed the Pakistani to dream for peace. She's surpassing XXX for her country, she opposed the talibans. Her courage inmense make her a real heroine. Indeed for me a hero is a person who consider to the others before herXXXX.





Réponse: Correction/Nobel Prize de milasosa, postée le 12-02-2015 à 17:44:17 (S | E)
Bonjour !
Merci pour votre aide !
My heroine is Malala Yousafzai, she received lately the Nobel Peace Prize. She's fighting for the Pakistani women and the children 's rights . At only seventeen years old she risked her life life for the others and she survived at a murder attempt. She’s fighting for education and she allowed the Pakistani to dream for peace. She's surpassing her for her country, she opposed the talibans. Her courage inmense making it she's a real heroine. Indeed for me a hero is a person who consider to the others before herself.



Réponse: Correction/Nobel Prize de bluestar, postée le 12-02-2015 à 18:48:45 (S | E)
Bonjour..
My heroine is Malala Yousafza. She received lately (adverbs of time go at the end of the sentence) the Nobel Peace Prize. She's fighting for the Pakistani women and the children 's rights . At only seventeen years old she risked her life life for the others and she survived at a murder attempt. She’s fighting for education and she allowed the Pakistanis to dream for peace. She's surpassing her (a reformuler)for her country, she opposed the Talibans. Her courage inmense (adjective before noun, also spelling error), making it she's her a real heroine. Indeed for me a hero is a person who consider(acccorde du verbe) to the others before herself.



Réponse: Correction/Nobel Prize de milasosa, postée le 12-02-2015 à 19:01:38 (S | E)
Bonjour
Merci beaucoup !
My heroine is Malala Yousafza. She received the Nobel Peace Prize lately. She's fighting for the Pakistani women and the children 's rights . At only seventeen years old she risked her life life for the others and she survived of a murder attempt. She’s fighting for education and she allowed the Pakistanis to dream the peace. She's surpassed her for her country, she opposed the Taliban. Her big courage , making her a real heroine. Indeed for me a hero is a person who considering others before herself.

voici la suite
Now Malala is a media icon she got the support of international star like a angelina joly. Morover she has been received from barack Obama
Merci encore



Réponse: Correction/Nobel Prize de bluestar, postée le 12-02-2015 à 19:27:05 (S | E)
My heroine is Malala Yousafza. She received the Nobel Peace Prize lately. She's fighting for the Pakistani women and the children 's rights . At only seventeen years old she risked her life life for the others and she survived of a murder attempt. She’s fighting for education and she allowed the Pakistanis to dream the of peace. She's surpassed excelled her for her country, and opposed the Taliban through great big courage , making her a real heroine. Indeed for me a hero is a person who considersing others before herself.

voici la suite
Now Malala is a media icon she has got the support of international stars like a Angelina Joliejoly. Morover she has been received from by Barack Obama

------------------
Lorsque vous parlez de les femmes pakistanaises en général ou les droits des enfants en général , vous omettez l'article défini: 'Pakistani women', pas 'the Pakistani women'; 'children's rights' pas 'the children's rights'



Réponse: Correction/Nobel Prize de milasosa, postée le 12-02-2015 à 20:12:14 (S | E)
Merci encore !

My heroine is Malala Yousafza. She received the Nobel Peace Prize lately. She's fighting for Pakistani women and children 's rights . At only seventeen years old she risked her life life for others and she survived in a murder attempt. She’s fighting for education and she allowed the Pakistanis to dream of peace. She's surpassing excelled her for her country, and opposed the Taliban through great big courage , making her a real heroine. Indeed for me a hero is a person who considersing others before herself.

Now Malala is a media icon she has got the support of international stars like a Angelina Jolie. Morover she has been received from by Barack Obama



Réponse: Correction/Nobel Prize de bluestar, postée le 12-02-2015 à 23:58:22 (S | E)
Bonsoir..
Je ne pense pas que vous comprenez comment les couleurs sont utilisées ici . Erreurs en bleu , suggestions sont en vert . Ne pas mettre ces deux dans votre texte - seulement les corrections proposées.
Vous êtes toujours en train d'écrire le mot "life" deux fois " ..life life ... " , même si j'ai deja corrigé cette erreur deux fois (maintenant trois fois!).

My heroine is Malala Yousafza. She received the Nobel Peace Prize lately. She's fighting for Pakistani women and children 's rights . At only seventeen years old she risked her life life for others and she survived in a murder attempt. She’s fighting for education and she allowed the Pakistanis to dream of peace. She's surpassing excelled herself for her country, and opposed the Taliban through great big courage , making her a real heroine. Indeed for me a hero is a person who considersing others before herself.
Now Malala is a media icon she has got the support of international stars like a Angelina Jolie. Morover she has been received from by Barack Obama



Réponse: Correction/Nobel Prize de milasosa, postée le 13-02-2015 à 10:44:55 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup !

My heroine is Malala Yousafza. She received the Nobel Peace Prize lately. She's fighting for Pakistani women and children 's rights . At only seventeen years old she risked her life for others and she survived in a murder attempt. She’s fighting for education and she allowed the Pakistanis to dream of peace. She's excelled herself for her country, and opposed the Taliban through great courage , making her a real heroine. Indeed for me a hero is a person who considers others before herself.
Now Malala is a media icon she has got the support of international stars like Angelina Jolie. Morover she has been received by Barack Obama

voici la derniere partie
Despite everything she has lived, she never has say die and to my mind she has all the hero's characteristics because everybody don't be able to make it, that is to say risked her life for peace for other.

Merci beaucoup



Réponse: Correction/Nobel Prize de bluestar, postée le 13-02-2015 à 11:41:55 (S | E)
Bonjour..

My heroine is Malala Yousafza. She received the Nobel Peace Prize lately. She's fighting for Pakistani women and children 's rights . At only seventeen years old she risked her life for others and she survived in a murder attempt. She’s fighting for education and she allowed the Pakistanis to dream of peace. She's excelled herself for her country, and opposed the Taliban through with great courage , making her a real heroine. Indeed for me a hero is a person who considers others before herself.
Now Malala is a media icon she has got the support of international stars like Angelina Jolie. Moreover she has been received by Barack Obama

voici la derniere partie
Despite everything she has lived, she never has say die has never given up and to my mind she has all the hero's characteristics because everybody don't be able to make it, can't do what she has done, that is to say risked her life for peace for others.


"..survived a murder attempt"..... pas "survived in a murder attempt"



Réponse: Correction/Nobel Prize de here4u, postée le 13-02-2015 à 11:52:26 (S | E)
Hello

My heroine is Malala Yousafza. She received the Nobel Peace Prize lately. She's fighting for Pakistani women and children 's rights . At only seventeen years old she risked her life for others and she survived in a murder attempt. She’s fighting for education and she allowed the Pakistanis to dream of peace. She's excelled herself for her country, and opposed the Taliban through great courage , making her a real heroine. Indeed for me a hero is a person who considers others before herself.
Now Malala is a media icon she has got the support of international stars like Angelina Jolie. Morover she has been received by Barack Obama

voici la derniere partie
Despite everything she has lived, she never has say die(word order + tense) and to my mind she has all the hero's characteristics because everybody don't be able to make it( la négation doit porter sur 'everybody' + singulier+ temps incorrect+ choix de make?), that is to say risked her life for peace for other.(clumsy)

Certaine que c'est bien la fin ?



Réponse: Correction/Nobel Prize de lucile83, postée le 13-02-2015 à 12:58:45 (S | E)
Hello,
Il me semble que milasosa ne corrige pas sérieusement ses textes ou exercices et gagne du temps afin d'obtenir la correction toute faite au bout de plusieurs jours. Ceci vaut pour l'anglais, les maths et l'espagnol.
Wait and see...





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