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Correction dialogue

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction dialogue
Message de malicious posté le 02-01-2012 à 12:30:22 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

J'ai un dialogue à faire pour l'école et j'aurais aimé avoir une dernière lecture afin de voir s'il n'y a pas de fautes de sens ou d'orthographe.

Merci d'avance pour votre aide


Voici mon texte :

I arrived in front of the café and perceived Helen inside, I entered.
“Hi Helen, are you ok ? I was worried about your famous announcement... What's happened ?” I said to her hastily.
“Don't panic Mathilde, nothing grave,” she reassured me. “Well... I need you to be understanding, it's not easy,” she added anxiously.
I answered her friendly I listened to her
“So... I decided to give up studying. It can be surprising but I thought for a long time so my decision is final,” She kept an extremely serious face, I was amazed, yet I wanted to know why this sudden change that I didn't understand.
So I declared as if surprised “Why ?!”
“I'm tired of the school, I want do new experiences, to confront the working life ! You see what I mean ?” She told to me cheerfully with a big grin.
“Helen it's not so easy, you know. To work you need degrees and you have no experience. You should take your time and wait a few years,” I advised to her.
“Experience grows in working”, she retorted a little annoyed, “and the school doesn't suit me any more, I want to leave.”
“Would you like to change sector or to study in another school ? You could do what do you prefer,” I tried again.
“No, what I want it's to work, nobody can change my opinion. I would prefer you to be from my part and to support me.”


Réponse: Correction dialogue de amandinej28, postée le 02-01-2012 à 13:08:51 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici une correction de ton dialogue, j'espère que cela t'aura aidé.

I arrived in front of the café and perceived Helen inside, I entered.
“Hi Helen, are you ok ? I was worried about your famous this announcement you talked so much about... (j'imagine que tu voulais traduire le mot "fameux"? Si tu utilises "famous", cela voudrait plutôt dire "célèbre") What's happened ?” I said to/ I told her her hastily.
“Don't panic Mathilde, nothing grave serious,” she reassured me. “Well... I need you to be understanding, it's not easy,” she added anxiously.
I answered her friendly I listened to her I told her gently that I would listen to her.
“So... I decided to give up studying. It can be surprising but I've been thinking about it for a long time so my decision is final made,” She kept an extremely serious face, I was amazed, yet I wanted to know why this sudden change that I didn't understand.
So I declared, as if surprised “Why ?!”
“I'm tired of the school, I want do have new experiences, to confront the working life ! You see what I mean ?” She told to me cheerfully with a big grin.
“Helen it's not so easy, you know. To work, you need degrees and you have no experience. You should take your time and wait a few years,” I advised to her.
“Experience grows is acquired through working”, she retorted a little annoyed, “and the school doesn't suit me any more, I want to leave.”
“Would you like to change sector subjects or to study in another school ? You could do what do you prefer,” I tried again.
“No, what I want it's is to work, nobody can change my opinion. I would prefer you to be from my part on my side and to support me.”

Ton anglais est plutôt bon et idiomatique! Il faut faire attention à l'utilisation de "the". Si tu dis "the school" tu parles d'une école en particulier et non pas de l'école en général.
Fais attention parfois avec les traductions dans le dictionnaire car elles peuvent donner le mauvais sens à ta phrase. Quand tu n'es pas sûr, essaye de trouverun synonyme en français puis de le traduire.

Bonne année

Amandine



Réponse: Correction dialogue de pau69, postée le 02-01-2012 à 14:21:58 (S | E)

  I arrived in front of the café and perceived saw Helen inside, I entered/came in.
"Hi Helen, are you ok ? I was worried about your famous this announcement you talked so much about...
(j'imagine que tu voulais traduire le mot "fameux"? Si tu utilises "famous", cela voudrait plutôt dire "célèbre") What's happened ?" I said to/ I told her her hastily.
"Don't panic Mathilde, it's nothing grave serious," she reassured me. "Well... I need you to be understanding, and I know it's not easy," she added anxiously.
I answered her friendly I listened to her I told her gently that I would listen to her.
"So ... I've decided to give up school/studying. It can be surprising but I've been thinking about it for a long time andso my decision is final made," sShe kept an extremely serious face/her face remained serious, I was amazed, yet I wanted to know whaty this sudden change was aboutthat I didn't understand.
So I declared/said (les repetitions de (say) ne sont pas génantes en anglais, c'est même plus idiomatique), as ifpretending to be surprised "Why ?!"
"I'm tired of/bored with the school, I want do to have/live new experiences, to confront the working life ! You see what I mean ?" She told to me cheerfully with a big grin/in a big smile.
"Helen, it's not so/that easy, you know. To work, you need degrees and you have no experience. You should take your time and wait a few years," I advised to her.
"Experience grows is acquired through working", she retorted a little annoyed, "and the school doesn't suit me any more, I want to leave/give up."
"Would you like to change sector subjects/your options or to study ingo to another school ? You could do what somethingdo you prefer," I tried again.
"No, what I want it's is to work, nobody can change my mindopinion. I would prefer you to (be from my part on my side and to) support me."


 


 


Je me suis juste permis de rajouter deux ou trois commentaires. J'espère que ça ira!


Bonne année à vous!





Réponse: Correction dialogue de malicious, postée le 02-01-2012 à 15:05:15 (S | E)
Un grand merci à vous !

Je vous souhaite également une bonne année !


Mathilde




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