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Correction/texte Cambridge

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/texte Cambridge
Message de thumbelina posté le 06-04-2011 à 20:11:21 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
Je prépare le first certificate of Cambridge.
Je m'entraine à la partie écrite qui consiste à écrire un texte.
Ici la première phrase était imposée.
Merci de corriger mes erreurs afin de me permettre de m'améliorer.
Merci d'avance.


As soon as Roy opened the door, he knew something was wrong. Already when had arrived, he had noticed a smell of petrol which was coming through the flat.

Quietly, he stood in the entrance. His wife Rebecca was putting petrol on the wall with a can. At the moment she saw him, she stopped and glared at him. After a short moment of silence she held a match as she ordered him to tell the truth.

Immediately he understood what she meant. Roy knew she had married a clever woman. She wasn’t joking. Moreover he hadn’t done too much not to be discovered. He had been on a love affair with their au pair for three months. Consequently he confesses and added that it wasn’t serious. He hadn’t loved her.

Hearing theses words, Anna became crazy and shouted she hadn’t known his unfaith. She was disgusting with the possibility that a man could love a girl of twice his age.

In a last movement, she scratched the fire and made their lovely home disappeared with them.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-04-2011 21:42



Réponse: Correction/texte Cambridge de gerondif, postée le 06-04-2011 à 22:13:34 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

As soon as Roy opened the door, he knew something was wrong. Already when(as soon as) ( ) had arrived, he had immediately noticed a smell of petrol which was coming through the flat.

Quietly, he stood in the entrance. His wife Rebecca was putting petrol on the wall with a can. At the moment(as soon as) she saw him, she stopped and glared at him. After a short moment of silence she held (up) a match as she ordered him to tell the truth.

He immediately understood what she meant. Roy knew she had married a clever woman. She wasn’t joking. Moreover he hadn’t done too much not to be discovered. He had been on a love affair with their au pair for three months. Consequently he confesses(prétérit) and added that it wasn’t serious. He hadn’t loved her.

Hearing theses words, Anna became crazy and shouted she hadn’t known his unfaith(???). She was disgusting with the possibility that a man could love a girl of twice his age(donc il a 30 ans et elle en a 60)(rappel: he is twice as old as me/ she is twice as young as him).

In a last movement, she scratched the fire and made their lovely home disappeared with them.
Rappel: give me a light: donne moi du feu.
Give me a fire: donne moi un incendie.




Réponse: Correction/texte Cambridge de may, postée le 10-04-2011 à 15:47:52 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Moreover he hadn’t done too much not to be discovered.

I was also thinking about the construction of this phrase. At the beginning, I had exactly the same idea as Notrepere, then when I tried taking out "not" that is He hadn't done too much to be discovered. This doesn't sound right either, since here we find the expression too...to (which implies the negative sense, something as "too good to be true"), then it's already been double negative! When I put "not" back then, the sense might be right but it's absolutely not a good construction (very confusing).

However, it would be better to say He hadn't done so many things to be discovered.
or much clearer He hadn't done so many things that his affair could be discovered.

Good Sunday,

-------------------
Modifié par may le 10-04-2011 15:49





Réponse: Correction/texte Cambridge de gerondif, postée le 10-04-2011 à 17:59:43 (S | E)
Hello, May,

"it's absolutely not a good construction (very confusing)".

He hadn't taken too many precautions not to be discovered.
He hadn’t done too much not to be discovered.
He hadn't kept his love affair secret enough not to be discovered.

He had threatened me too much not to be taken seriously.

I don't find these constructions faulty, even if the negative infinitive of purpose is not that common.
He hadn't been discreet enough to avoid being found out /exposed.
He hadn't been discreet enough to keep his love-affair from his wife. would maybe be less complicated.





Réponse: Correction/texte Cambridge de gerondif, postée le 10-04-2011 à 18:21:45 (S | E)
Yes, I would have said: she was splashing petrol all over the wall "with" a can.....or "out of" a can.
But, np, an angry woman, who has been cheated on (passive voice!!) will do anything, no matter what the tool is ! Look, she burns the house and herself instead of taking it out on her husband only!



Réponse: Correction/texte Cambridge de may, postée le 11-04-2011 à 02:23:23 (S | E)
Hello Gérondif,

I don't find these constructions faulty, even if the negative infinitive of purpose is not that common.

So, you have agreed with me on a certain point that it's confusing, isn't it?

Moreover, I would like to go over these examples of yours:

He hadn't taken too many precautions not to be discovered.(yours)
He had taken (affirmative) too many precautions (in order) not to be discovered.

He hadn't kept his love affair secret enough not to be discovered. (yours)
He had kept (affirmative) his love affair secret enough (in order) not to be discovered.

He hadn’t done too much not to be discovered. (No, I don't like it!)

He had threatened me too much not to be taken seriously.(it makes sense)

He hadn't been discreet enough to avoid being found out /exposed.OK

He hadn't been discreet enough to keep his love-affair from his wife. would maybe be less complicated. See!

However, have a good night.

-------------------
Modifié par may le 11-04-2011 02:24



Réponse: Correction/texte Cambridge de lucile83, postée le 11-04-2011 à 08:14:54 (S | E)
Hello,

Au prix actuel de l'essence il vaut mieux se munir d'une corde.

- may , dans vos exemples remaniés et surlignés en vert vous dites le contraire de ce que gerondif disait.

He hadn't taken too many precautions not to be discovered.(yours)
He had taken (affirmative) too many precautions (in order) not to be discovered.
He hadn't kept his love affair secret enough not to be discovered. (yours)
He had kept (affirmative) his love affair secret enough (in order) not to be discovered.

Bonne journée!





Réponse: Correction/texte Cambridge de may, postée le 12-04-2011 à 02:03:04 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

Yes, Lucile either this or that, but not He hadn’t done too much not to be discovered. The verb "to do" used in this sentence is not a good choice (do ). The meaning is very ambiguous then.

Anyway, I agree with you about the gas price. But Gérondif was saying an angry woman, who has been cheated on (passive voice!!) will do anything, no matter what the tool is!

Good night,



Réponse: Correction/texte Cambridge de gerondif, postée le 12-04-2011 à 11:18:51 (S | E)
Hello,
funny to see that the only person we don't see coming back to take advantage of all we are saying about this topic is.... Thumbelina !

I still think that her sentence made sense:

He hadn't bothered to do (too) much to hide his liaison/ to keep out of harm's way.
He hadn't bothered to do (too)much in order not to be discovered by his wife.
He hadn't exerted himself (too much) not to be discovered.
which, simply put, ends up as:
He hadn't done too much not to be discovered.
Il n'avait pas fait grand chose pour ne pas se faire prendre.
Il ne s'était pas trop cassé la tête (en argot, c'est une autre partie du corps, celle sur laquelle on s'assied) pour ne pas se faire prendre.






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