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Correction d'exposé

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction d'exposé
Message de lilou811 posté le 19-03-2011 à 13:28:35 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je suis un peu dans la galère car je cherche une personne qui pourrait relire mon texte d'anglais.
Celui-ci parle du protocole de Copenhague, certains termes sont du business vocabulary.
Merci de votre aide.

The Copenhagen Accord

FROM KYOTO TO COPENHAGEN:

The meeting in Copenhagen in December 2009, would finalize a new agreement about the environmental Challenge in order to take the place of Kyoto protocol.
The Copenhagen protocol will start in 2013 when Kyoto set up to expire at the end of 2012. It was attended by 192 nations with 115 heads of government.
The three big world’s largest emitters of greenhouse gas effects, China, The United States & European union were in Copenhagen. In 2007, they represented 21% for the China, 20% for the US and 14% for the UE worldwide gas emissions.
India and Russia, the two next were only at 4 and 6%. So, it’s really important for everybody that these countries ratify the treaty.

ON THE ROAD TO COPENHAGEN:

TO FIND A GLOBAL AGREEMENT, FAIR, BALANCED ON CLIMATE CHANGE.
Yes, but how…
After several fruitful discussions, world leaders agreed to the Copenhagen Accord. The accord is a significant first step in engaging the world’s largest emitters in the global effort to slash carbon emissions.
The European Union bear out his commitment to reduce its greenhouse gas effects of 30% in 2010 in comparison in 1990 (the reference year).
The Norway is the first country with an ambition higher than others countries. They want decrease their greenhouse gas emissions between 30 and 40% in 2020.
The Japan remains on his goal to diminish 25% of his emissions on compared in 1990.
The United States keeps their commitment to realize the same effort, to cut their greenhouse gas emissions by 17% in comparison in 2005, 42% by 2030 and 83% by 2050.
China wants to cut down their gas emissions between 40 and 45% in 2020 compared by 2005.
Others countries confirmed their aims to scale down their greenhouse gas emissions.

FINAL AIMS:

At the end of the Copenhagen meeting, the countries attending will wind up the discussion.
1. One of the goals of the climate change convention are stabilized the amount of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. To achieve this objective, the increase in global temperature should be below 2 degrees Celsius.
2. Adaptation to the adverse effects of climate change. (reducing vulnerability of buildings in developing countries,…)
3. All actions taken by all countries and an annual emissions inventory should be communicated.
4. Support for developing countries:
The global emissions are really worrying but we bearing in mind that social and economic development and poverty eradication are also priorities.
Scale up the Copenhagen Green Climate Fund to finance the reduction of emissions from deforestation, technology development,…

BE POSITIVE
Yes, I think so.
As of June 25, 2010, 136 countries have signed the agreement.
The three big world’s largest emitters of green house gas effects were ratified the protocol.

WHAT NEXT ?
The 17th edition on Climate Change will be held in the sunny city of Durban in South Africa.
This edition will mark a critical moment in the ongoing international climate change negotiations, 2012 approaching.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-03-2011 07:57



Réponse: Correction d'exposé de notrepere, postée le 20-03-2011 à 01:29:51 (S | E)
Hello

The Copenhagen Accord

FROM KYOTO TO COPENHAGEN:

The meeting in Copenhagen in December 2009, would finalize [au passé] a new agreement about the environmental Challenge [pluriel] in order to take the place of [article manquant] Kyoto protocol.
The Copenhagen protocol [Protocol ou Accord?] will start in 2013. when The Kyoto Protocol set up [=is set] to expire at the end of 2012. It [The Meeting?] was attended by 192 nations with 115 heads of government.
The three big world’s largest [largest and big sont similaires; il faut mettre 'world's' au premier] emitters of greenhouse gases effects, China, The United States & the European Union were in Copenhagen. In 2007, they represented 21% for the China, 20% for the US and 14% for the EU worldwide gas emissions.
India and Russia, the two next were only at 4 and 6%. So, it’s really important for everybody that these countries ratify the treaty [pas un "treaty"].

ON THE ROAD TO COPENHAGEN:

TO FIND A GLOBAL AGREEMENT, FAIR, BALANCED ON CLIMATE CHANGE.
Yes, but how…
After several fruitful discussions, world leaders agreed to the Copenhagen Accord. The Accord is a significant first step in engaging the world’s largest emitters in the global effort to slash carbon emissions.
The European Union bear [accorde] out his [pas une personne] commitment to reduce its greenhouse gas effects of 30% in 2010 in comparison in 1990 (the reference year).
The Norway is the first country with an ambition higher than others [invariable] countries. They want to decrease their greenhouse gas emissions between 30 and 40% in [mauvaise préposition] 2020.
The Japan remains on his [pas une personne] goal to diminish 25% of his emissions on compared in 1990 [mal dit].
The United States keeps their commitment to realize the same effort, to cut their greenhouse gas emissions by 17% in comparison in 2005, 42% by 2030 and 83% by 2050.
China wants to cut down their gas emissions between 40 and 45% color=#FF0000>in 2020 compared by 2005.
Others [invariable] countries confirmed their aims to scale down their greenhouse gas emissions.

FINAL AIMS:

At the end of the Copenhagen meeting, the countries attending will wind up the discussion.
1. One of the goals of the climate change convention are [accorde] stabilized [infinitif] the amount of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. To achieve this objective, the increase in global temperature should be below 2 degrees celsius.
2. Adaptation to the adverse effects of climate change. (reducing vulnerability of buildings in developing countries,…)
3. All actions taken by all countries and an annual emissions inventory should be communicated.
4. Support for developing countries:
The global emissions are really worrying but we bearing [forme: present continuous] in mind that social and economic development and poverty eradication are also priorities.
Scale up the Copenhagen Green Climate Fund to finance the reduction of emissions from deforestation, technology development,…

BE POSITIVE
Yes, I think so.
As of June 25th, 2010, 136 countries have signed the agreement.
The three big world’s largest emitters of green house gas effects were [present perfect] ratified the Protocol.

WHAT NEXT ?
The 17th edition [mal dit: Lien Internet
]
on Climate Change will be held in the sunny city of Durban in South Africa.
This edition will mark a critical moment in the ongoing international climate change negotiations, 2012 approaching.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-03-2011 07:59
Bug police réparé




Réponse: Correction d'exposé de lilou811, postée le 20-03-2011 à 12:41:06 (S | E)
UN TOUT GRAND MERCI pour toutes ces corrections.


Marie

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-03-2011 12:55




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