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Correction/fashion and brands (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/fashion and brands
Message de manon25 posté le 01-03-2010 à 21:42:46

Bonjour,
je dois faire une rédaction en anglais sur le sujet suivant:
expliquer la place qu'occupe les marques et la mode dans notre société.
est-ce-que svt vous Pouvez-vous m'aider à améliorer ma rédaction s'il vous plaît?

introduction
In our society the brands play a major role in the teenagers'life .The trends are everywhere in the TV set and magazines .All stars and performors wear brands and encouraged the children to wear the same clothes .

developpement
Indeed the peer pressure is very strong to influence young.To my mind be a "brand addict "means that it is undergoing peer pressure.We pretended to be another to be accepted and appreciated friends class.

The magazins and fashion designers have well understood
adolescents are the main target for starting a trend.They make their believe that they are nothing without logos.
And this works because unconscious teens follow the fashion to belong a group or rise to fame or become a star .Forewhere it's became normal to be cool and branded to wear brands in high school
In the well know magazines each clothes are must have but it's so expansive!
the worst is that young people are ignored ,has been without marks
It's very offensive I'm in shock!

To concluded today ,the brands are everywhere the marks invade our environment.This prevents the teenagers from speaking freely

And if this continues children will become robots without personality to claim that they are really

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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-03-2010 22:14

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 09-05-2010 17:06


Réponse: Correction/fashion and brands de laure95, postée le 02-03-2010 à 15:14:34
Bonjour,
Voici ce que tu dois corriger:
introduction
In our society the brands play a major role in the teenagers'life .The trends are everywhere in (pas la bonne préposition) the TV set and in magazines .All stars and performors (ce mot n'existe pas) wear brands and encouraged (pourquoi le prétérit?) the children to wear the same clothes .

developpement
Indeed the peer pressure is very strong to influence the young.To my mind to be a "brand addict "means that it is undergoing peer pressure.We pretended (pourquoi encore le prétérit?) to be another (il manque le mot personne) to be accepted and appreciated (il manque le mot par) friends class.

The magazins (orthographe) and fashion designers have well understood
adolescents are the main target for starting (pour: TO + VERBE A L'INFINITIF) a trend.They make their (chercher le pronom complément) believe that they are nothing without logos.
And this works because unconscious teens follow the fashion to belong to a group or rise to fame or become a star .Forewhere>( ce mot n'existe pas) it's became (temps?) normal to be cool and branded to wear brands in high school
In the well know (orthographe) magazines each clothes are must have (ça ne veut rien dire) but it's so expansive (orthographe)!
the worst is that young people are ignored ,has been without marks
It's very offensive I'm in shock (utiliser le participe passé)! To concluded today ,the brands are everywhere the marks invade our environment.This prevents the teenagers from speaking freely

And if this continues children will become robots without personality to claim that (what) they are really



Réponse: Correction/fashion and brands de manon25, postée le 02-03-2010 à 19:13:15
merci beaucoup pour votre aide



Réponse: Correction/fashion and brands de manon25, postée le 02-03-2010 à 21:52:11
Voilà j'ai essayé de corriger mes fautes est-ce-que s'il vous plait vous pouvez me dire si celle-la est meilleur merci beaucoup

In our society brands play a major role in the teenager's .The trends are everywhere at TV and in magazines .All stars and performers wear brands and encourage the children to wear the same clothes .

Indeed the peer pressure is very strong to influence the young.To my mind to be a "brand addict "means that it is undergoing peer pressure.We pretend to be another person to be accepted and appreciated by friends° class.

Shops and fashion designers have well understood
adolescents are the main target to start a trend.They makes them believe that they are nothing without logos.
And this works because unconscious teens follow the fashion to belong to a group or rise to fame or become a star . Furthermore it's become normal to be cool and branded to wear brands in high school
In the famous magazines , you absolutely need each clothes that are located on each page but it's so expensive !
the worst is that young people are ignored ,has been without marks
It's very offensive I'm in shocked !

To conclude today brands are everywhere the marks invade our environment.This prevents the teenagers from speaking freely
And if this continues children will become robots without personality to claim what they are really



Réponse: Correction/fashion and brands de laure95, postée le 03-03-2010 à 11:17:17
Bonjour,
In our society brands play a major role in the teenager's (pourquoi le mot LIFE a disparu?). The trends are everywhere at TV and in magazines .All stars and performers wear brands and encourage the children to wear the same clothes .

Indeed the peer pressure is very strong to influence the young.To my mind to be a "brand addict "means that it is undergoing peer pressure.We pretend to be another person to be accepted and appreciated by friends° class (traduire : ses camarades de classe).

Shops (au singulier) and fashion designers have well understood
adolescents are the main target to start a trend.They makes (conjugaison!) them believe that they are nothing without logos.
And this works because unconscious teens follow the fashion to belong to a group or rise to fame or become a star . Furthermore it's become normal to be cool and branded (redondant avec brands) to wear brands in high school
In the famous magazines , you absolutely need each clothes that are located on each page but it's so expensive !
the worst is that young people are ignored (mettre l'adjectif) ,has (conjugaison! Le sujet est YOUNG PEOPLE) been (pourquoi le présent perfect?) without marks
It's very offensive I'm in shocked !

To conclude today brands are everywhere (mettre un point ou 2 points) the marks (pas le bon mot) invade our environment.This prevents the teenagers from speaking freely
And if this continues children will become robots without personality to claim what they are really




Réponse: Correction/fashion and brands de manon25, postée le 03-03-2010 à 17:00:07
merci encore beaucoup pour votre correction



Réponse: Correction/fashion and brands de manon25, postée le 07-03-2010 à 23:08:12
Bonjour je dois preparer un quiz en anglais j'ai essayer de le fgaire pouvez vous s'il vous plait me corriger

Quiz about my classmates

Do you really know me ?

First question is :
If I say you “Who is my favourite country in the world “you answer :

1 Tel aviv because my house and my friends are there and expect me each summer
2Los angels because all movies are shot there
3 Venis because is the most romantic city in the world

Second question is :
To your mind, the best sandwich I've eaten in my life is:
1 Hamburger with plenty of ketchup
2 Bagel with a lot of cheese
3 Hot dog with plenty of mustard

3rd question is
all my family nicknames me ………….. Would you find?
1 Manoushka
2 Naissou
3 Lolotte

4th question is
My biggest dream is:
1 Discover all the countries of the world
2 Buy a Chanel dress
3Offer to my parents all what they want

5th question is
My grand mother’s brirthday is ( I ‘m sorry it’s a very hard ! )
1 Friday, July 9th during the summer
2 Monday , January 25th during the winter
3 Saturday , May 21st during the spring

6th question

As you know, I love read so what is the most interesting book for me?
1”Au Bonheur des dames “Emile Zola’s book because he describe very good Paris
2”La case de l’oncle tom “ ‘s book because the slavery ‘s story is very moving
3 “Manon Lescaut “Prevost’s book because Manon is a character very passionate

7th question

My hobby is to watch movies so , what is my favourite movie ?
1 “A Walk to Remember » ‘s movie because there is the most beautiful love story
2” Freedom Writers ‘’ ‘s movie because everyone has heart , sometimes hidden
3”very bad trip” because it’s so funny and so hilarious, I love laughter !


8th question
I ‘m kind on holidays so it’s up to you to guess what my designated holidays are?
1Summer holidays because it is the longest holidays of the year
2Winter holidays because after effort there is comfort
3Chavouot holydays because this towards the end of the year



9th question
I enjoy listen music, so for you what my favourite singer at the time is?
1Michael Jackson because I love the moonwalk
2Sarit Hadad because she has got a perfect voice
3Enriqué Iglesias because he is so cut

10th question

I ‘m fond of school so what is the least boring subject at school?
1French because I become cultivated
2 English because I improve the foreign language
3 Math because I learn to reason


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 08-03-2010 08:31
Nouveau sujet = nouveau post, merci.


Réponse: Correction/fashion and brands de gerondif, postée le 07-03-2010 à 23:25:51
Bonsoir

Do you really know me ?

the first question is : (ou alors:"First question" sans verbe)
If I say(tell quand il y a une "oreille" derrière le verbe) you “Who(plutôt what ou which) is my favourite country in the world “you answer :

1 Tel aviv because my house and my friends are there and expect me each summer
2Los angeles because all movies are shot there
3 Venice because it is the most romantic city in the world

Second question is :
To your mind, the best sandwich I've ever eaten in my life is:
1 a Hamburger with plenty of ketchup
2 a Bagel with a lot of cheese
3 a Hot dog with plenty of mustard

the 3rd question is
Find my family nicknames :
1 Manoushka
2 Naissou
3 Lolotte

4th question is
My biggest dream is to:
1 Discover all the countries of the world
2 Buy a Chanel dress
3Offer * my parents all what they want

5th question is
My grand mother’s birthday is ( I ‘m sorry it’s a very hard one! )
1 Friday, July 9th during the summer
2 Monday , January 25th during the winter
3 Saturday , May 21st during the spring

6th question

As you know, I love read(gérondif, ing) so what is the most interesting book for me?
1”Au Bonheur des dames “Emile Zola’s book because he describe very good Paris (très bien, pas très bon, adverbe !)
2”La case de l’oncle tom “ ‘s book because the slavery ‘s story is very moving (the story of slavery)
3 “Manon Lescaut “Prevost’s book because Manon is a character very passionate (adj devant le nom)

7th question

My hobby is to watch movies so , what is my favourite movie ?
1 “A Walk to Remember » ‘s movie because there is (c'est = "it is" , et non pas il y a)the most beautiful love story
2” Freedom Writers ‘’ ‘s movie because everyone has a heart , sometimes hidden
3”very bad trip” because it’s so funny and so hilarious, I love laughter(plutôt le verbe rire eau gérondif derrière love) !


8th question
I ‘m kind on (confusion avec keen on ?)holidays so it’s up to you to guess what my designated?(favourite ?) holidays are?
1Summer holidays because it is the longest holidays of the year
2Winter holidays because after effort there is comfort (français traduit)
3Chavouot holydays because this (manque un verbe)towards the end of the year



9th question
I enjoy listening to music, so for you what my favourite singer at the time is(verbe mal placé)?
1Michael Jackson because I love the moonwalk
2Sarit Hadad because she has got a perfect voice
3Enriqué Iglesias because he is so cut (cute?)

10th question

I ‘m fond of school so what is the least boring subject at school?
1French because I become cultivated
2 English because I improve the foreign language
3 Maths because I learn to reason








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