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Rédaction d'anglais
Message de bricol-namite posté le 29-04-2009 à 13:58:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous, j'ai ce texte à présenter devant ma classe, j'aimerai savoir si quelqu'un pouvait m'aider à le corriger ( j'ai notamment de nombreux problèmes avec les prépositions ). Merci d'avance
This summer, our association « Useful vacation » organise a trip in Corsica for the teenagers between fifteen and eighteen years old.
The 4th July monitors and teenagers will flight from Brussels Airport at half past five to the Ajaccio Airport ( arrived at half past seven) where they will take a bus to Bonifacio. When they will arrive they'll go to the house where they will live for one month.
This is a great house special for the summer camp with a big garden, bathrooms, tennis court, a lot of bedrooms,... and it's near one of the best beach in Corsica : the Beach of Palombagio where a lot of stars own an house.
We and the monitors planed a lot of activities but one is really important: in the morning teenagers will be divided in different teams (always with monitors) and have to clean the beaches before the tourists' coming. The team who clean the best the beach won't make chores. This activity is a middle for us to make the trip less expensive: we clean the beach of Palombagio and in change South Corsica's region lend us the house free .
The rest of the day is organized like this : 12 o'clock, teenagers will come at the house and have a lunch. From one to 2 o'clock they will have some free time. In the rest oF the afternoon and sins half past five, young people will make activities with their groups ( activities are scuba diving, swimming, walking, riding a horse, fishing, playing tennis, theatre lesson,... ). And then they will have again some free time but they will also cleaning their bedrooms, do the washing up, tidy the house,...
In the evening monitors will make role play, walking in the night, or going out to the discotheque... but everybody will come at the house at 02 o'clock : teenagers have to be get up at 8 o'clock for taking them breakfast at 9 o'clock and then going to the beach.
The two last days, teenagers will take a ferry boat for leaving Corsica ( again, the ferry boat is free, the South Corsica's region pays to us ). When they arrived in Nice, they go the airport and come back...
For the parents we already want to say that one monitors is specialised in informatics and he will make a blog for following the young people during the entire trip and also before: you can find the link on w.usefulvacation.uk . On this site you can find the registration form and some pictures of the house, the beaches,.... Also nobody hasn't to worry because the security is good where their children's will go...
Message de bricol-namite posté le 29-04-2009 à 13:58:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous, j'ai ce texte à présenter devant ma classe, j'aimerai savoir si quelqu'un pouvait m'aider à le corriger ( j'ai notamment de nombreux problèmes avec les prépositions ). Merci d'avance
This summer, our association « Useful vacation » organise a trip in Corsica for the teenagers between fifteen and eighteen years old.
The 4th July monitors and teenagers will flight from Brussels Airport at half past five to the Ajaccio Airport ( arrived at half past seven) where they will take a bus to Bonifacio. When they will arrive they'll go to the house where they will live for one month.
This is a great house special for the summer camp with a big garden, bathrooms, tennis court, a lot of bedrooms,... and it's near one of the best beach in Corsica : the Beach of Palombagio where a lot of stars own an house.
We and the monitors planed a lot of activities but one is really important: in the morning teenagers will be divided in different teams (always with monitors) and have to clean the beaches before the tourists' coming. The team who clean the best the beach won't make chores. This activity is a middle for us to make the trip less expensive: we clean the beach of Palombagio and in change South Corsica's region lend us the house free .
The rest of the day is organized like this : 12 o'clock, teenagers will come at the house and have a lunch. From one to 2 o'clock they will have some free time. In the rest oF the afternoon and sins half past five, young people will make activities with their groups ( activities are scuba diving, swimming, walking, riding a horse, fishing, playing tennis, theatre lesson,... ). And then they will have again some free time but they will also cleaning their bedrooms, do the washing up, tidy the house,...
In the evening monitors will make role play, walking in the night, or going out to the discotheque... but everybody will come at the house at 02 o'clock : teenagers have to be get up at 8 o'clock for taking them breakfast at 9 o'clock and then going to the beach.
The two last days, teenagers will take a ferry boat for leaving Corsica ( again, the ferry boat is free, the South Corsica's region pays to us ). When they arrived in Nice, they go the airport and come back...
For the parents we already want to say that one monitors is specialised in informatics and he will make a blog for following the young people during the entire trip and also before: you can find the link on w.usefulvacation.uk . On this site you can find the registration form and some pictures of the house, the beaches,.... Also nobody hasn't to worry because the security is good where their children's will go...
Réponse: Rédaction d'anglais de kolimang, postée le 29-04-2009 à 16:22:36 (S | E)
Bonjour,
J'ai relevé quelques fautes. Je pense qu'il faudrait aussi revoir les temps de certains verbes, mais ce n'est pas du tout ma spécialité alors je laisse la main à quelqu'un d'autre pour cela.
Cordialement,
Kolimang
- - - -
This summer, our association « Useful vacation » is organizing a trip in Corsica for
The 4th of July at half past five monitors and teenagers will flight ("flight" is a noun) from Brussels Airport to the Ajaccio Airport (arrived at half past seven) where they will take a bus to Bonifacio. When they will arrive they'll go to the house where they will live for one month.
This is a great house special for the summer camp with a big garden, bathrooms, tennis court, a lot of bedrooms,... and it's near one of the prettiest beach in Corsica : the Beach of Palombagio where a lot of stars own an house.
We and the monitors planed (orthographe et temps) a lot of activities but one is really important: in the morning teenagers will be divided in different teams (always with monitors) and have to clean the beaches before the tourists' coming. The team who best clean the beach won't make chores. This activity is a middle (vocabulary) for us to make the trip less expensive: we clean the beach of Palombagio and in change South Corsica's region lend us the house for free .
The rest of the day is organized like this : [preposition] 12 o'clock, teenagers will come at the house and have a lunch. From one to 2 o'clock they will have some free time. In the rest of the afternoon and sins (until ?) half past five, young people will make activities with their groups (activities are scuba diving, swimming, walking, riding a horse, fishing, playing tennis, theatre lesson,... ). And then they will have again some free time but they will also cleaning (forme incorrecte) their bedrooms, do the washing up, tidy the house,...
In the evening monitors will make role play, walking in the night, or going out to the discotheque... but everybody will come at the house at 02 o'clock : teenagers have to be get up at 8 o'clock for taking them breakfast at 9 o'clock and then going to the beach.
The last two days, teenagers will take a ferry boat for leaving Corsica (again, the ferry boat is free, the South Corsica's region pays for us). When they arrived in Nice, they go the airport and come back...
For the parents we already want to say that one monitors is specialised in informatics and he will make a blog for following the young people during the entire trip and also before: you can find the link on w.usefulvacation.uk . On this site you can find the registration form and some pictures of the house, the beaches,.... Also nobody hasn't to worry because the security is good where their children's will go...
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Modifié par kolimang le 29-04-2009 16:53
Réponse: Rédaction d'anglais de bricol-namite, postée le 29-04-2009 à 20:05:59 (S | E)
Oh, Merci beaucoup j'ai corrigé mes fautes !
