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The soldier /correction (1)

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The soldier /correction
Message de pierrotdu62 posté le 19-02-2009 à 18:12:24 (S | E | F)

hello . I have a englishwork for tomorrow...
the subject is : The soldier tells the same story to a friend.Imagine his version of events.

And my answer is :

dear william,
I'm writing to tell you my terrible adventure, which took place during the war ... it was awful! But fortunately in this misfortune, I had a little happiness ... In fact I fell in love with a girl. She was librarian. I was afraid to go talk to him, so I sent him letters. She said politely as she did not know me. I learned to know her through letters. She responded very kindly despite the fact that she has no idea who I was. Unfortunately I learned shortly after my mother fell seriously ill. So I went back home to take care of her. She really needed. Now she is doing better although she is still sick. I am therefore forced to remain at home. But I really want to revisit the librarian. I miss her greatly. I thought about her every day. I think that she is worried for me . I'm afraid she is sad and think I am dead. In summary, this is not the joy.
And you how are you?
goodbye


Can you help me correct my mistakes? and what should be put on the top right and left of a letter? thank you !

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 19-02-2009 18:16
Titre distinctif.
Forum principal


Réponse: The soldier /correction de ellilou, postée le 19-02-2009 à 18:32:22 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici quelques petites corrections apportées à ton devoir :

dear william,
I'm writing to tell you my terrible horrible adventure, which took place during the war ... it was awful! But fortunately in this misfortune, I had a little happiness ... In fact I fell in love with a girl. She was a librarian. I was afraid to go talk to him her, so I sent him her letters. She said answered politely as she did not know me. I learned to know her through her letters. She responded very kindly despite the fact that she has had no idea who I was. Unfortunately I learned shortly after that my mother fell had fallen seriously ill. So I went back home to take care of her. She really needed me. Now she is doing better although she is still sick. I am therefore forced have therefore to remain at home. But I really want to revisit see the librarian again. I miss her greatly. I thought think about her every day. I think that she is worried for me . I'm afraid she is sad and thinks I am dead. In summary To sum up, this is not the joy a happy time for me.
And you how are you?
goodbye

Bonne soirée.


Réponse: The soldier /correction de intrepid34, postée le 19-02-2009 à 21:56:58 (S | E)
Good evening Pierrot du 62!

Majescules au début d'une phrase et pour tous les noms propes en anglais.

Dear William,

I am writing to tell you about my terrible adventure ...... mais tu ne parles pas d'une aventure horrible mais d'une fille bibliothéquaire....
I was afraid to talk to her so I wrote to her. She replied politely....
I got to know her through her letters.
She really needed me.
But I really want to see the librarian again. I miss her a lot and think about her every day. Maybe she is worried about me. In short, it's rather frustrating.

And you? How are you?

Regards, your friend
John





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