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Séjour (correction)
Message de soso32 posté le 24-02-2008 à 22:01:07 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
Voilà je dois écrire un texte en Anglais sur un séjour! J'ai donc écrit ce texte moi-même...seulement je suis loin d'être bilingue alors pourriez-vous y jeter un coup d'œil?
Je vous remercie pour votre aide si précieuse.
Voici mon texte:
Thursday, January a final “Goodbye” and a day in London.
“Time to go ! Oh ! How short it was ! " Those are the first words that came to my mind when Anya came in the morning . Last breakfast with the family, the last conversation with Abdoulla, last hugs to the family and let’s go to London ! I was quite sad .
The program was scheduled to visit the Tower of London: it was huge and beautiful. Really, you should have seen ! What a surprise when I saw that the weather was so bad!
Today it guards the crown jewels and the biggest diamond in the world that decorates the scepter to the Cross ...
Alternately residence of kings, fortress or prison, a visit to the Tower of London is inescapable for those who come to admire the English capital.
The visit takes place on a treadmill, to avoid crowding around the jewels.
Before moving to the room where are exposed Treasures of the
Crown, you pass an enormous door, it is possible to stop a moment in front of screens on which you can watch movies about the bigs moments of the English monarchy: an easy way to discover English history and the different rulers, kings and queens who have
Succeeded in this country.
I could discover the history of this medieval fortress: it’s the ancient residence of the king of England. On the walls, we can see traces of the architecture of differents eras.
We also learned much from the white tower: the most famous part of the tower, an old prison. There is now an interesting collection of armor and weapons (swords, guns, cannons).
I also remember ravens flying above this majestic Tour. Indeed, accroding to a certain legend, the day when the last crow leaves the Tower of London, the monarchy will disappear.
Thanks to this visit , I’ve learnt a lot about the traditions of England. The Tower of London is the symbol of the British monarchy, which dominated the World from the eighteenth to the early twentieth century. This large place impressed me so much that I consider it as one of the best visits.
Then we had to eat in the bus because of the sad time. On the way, I saw with wonder the big wheel (installed during the transition to the year 2000) and we stopped in front of the palace Buckingam. It is the latest palace in London. It façade was sober an classic. Unfortunately, we could not visit it.
Then, the time of our last free time came. As the weather allowed it, we preferred to walk: to go through the numerous parks, to discover small public garden, and incredible façades of houses or shops "so British".
So, we went to go shopping. The city was huge and I felt very small in comparison. What I mean is that I was stunned by the beauty of this city: all these bigs stores, these larges cinemas and theaters, the many colors of the city… Each quarter, you see, is a small world in the city: Chinatown, Picadilly, and Circus…In this city, there is a lot of things to see, to do... I really felt all the animation of a particular environment and a microcosm in every part of the city ... All inspired me a tireless life which fascinated me ... You certainly have to envy me because London is a wonderful city for walking, and like all capitals, it everything has to offer to everybody. It is a beautiful city, with a superb architecture, fabulous monuments, parks extraordinary, English .... very English, amazings pubs, unbelievable party, anonymous, stars… There were shows in the theaters and on the streets, amazings taxis, red buses, typicals mailboxes … it was wonderful.
An incredible city, an incredible charm so british: London!
In short it was fantastic but I won’t tell you any more and I came back to my shopping … hum… once our window- shopping finished, my friends and me went to a bar rest… which was very pleasant. Then after waiting the latecomers to the Centre Point which was our pick-up point, we retook the road towards Portsmouth where we waiting for the ferry...besides we also had a break at the supermarket so as to buy food for our collective picnic. When we arrive in Portsmouth, we found the others students who were gone in England but in another city.
It was superb, we had a lot of things to tell us. Then we had dinner together, it was really good and I could to thrive of my last evening in the
England (the accompanying adult had a good idea!)
Around 11:00 it was time to embark on board a ferry. It was more beautiful even more beautiful than the previous ferry. As for bunks, they were much more comfortable. Therefore, the night was very quiet because we were all tired! However, the sea was rough, stormy and consequently some students were sick during the voyage.
After having slept well, another breakfast awaited us on board ferry, still delicious.
7.30: we got washed and we came out off the ferry, we were in France, at the port of embarkation in Ouistreham. It did me a strange feeling and I was nostalgic, thinking about again all these good times.
Then, we took the bus to go see the Bayeux tapestry in Normandy. It was gigantic and magnificent.
- First there was the Tapestry Gallery on the ground floor:
The visit was with an audio guide commenting on each of the 58 scenes.
The Bayeux Tapestry is a precious source historicals informations about the life during the XI century, as the vessels, meals, clothing, writing, the woman's place, the taste of or arms. It's really a masterpiece. Actually, the famous Bayeux Tapestry is a wool embroidery on a linen, which tells the conquest of the England’s throne by William the Conqueror, Duke of Normandy in 1066. But it also is a fascinating work as graphically as by the quality of its staging.
In a second phase, I saw an interpretation’s room in the first floor: Many thematic panels illustrated, maps and models about the life in Normandy and England in William Ier ‘s time were prsents in this room.
Finally, on the second floor, there was a cinema: in this room, a movie was projected onto Guillaume the Conqueror.
I must admit that I was fascinated by this visit. The comment on the Tapestry was very clear and very rewarding. I’d say that with the Tower of London it has been one of the best tours. There also was a bookshop in which our teachers bought books for our future accounts. Then when the tour ended, sadly because it was the last. The bus took us to "Relay of 3 apples" where a good meal was waiting for us. Then we took the bus where we looked 2 cassettes.
17:00: We arrived in Questembert, pleased to find our friends and parents, but sad to leave England also suddenly ... one week of travel thrilling and unforgettable during which the enconters, the paradisiacals places and the unusuals adventures were linked together during that stay. That way the dream ended ...
Well, dear diary, it’s the end of this exciting journey ... I hope to redo others trips as fascinating, because I’m longing to reopen you for new adventures ...
-----------------
Modifié par bridg le 24-02-2008 22:28
Changement de titre car "petit texte", vous êtes modeste
Il est demandé aux membres qui auront la gentillesse de répondre de signaler les fautes, d'aider le demandeur à se corriger mais de ne jamais faire le travail à sa place. Cette règle est incontournable sur ce site d'apprentissage. Merci de votre participation.
Message de soso32 posté le 24-02-2008 à 22:01:07 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
Voilà je dois écrire un texte en Anglais sur un séjour! J'ai donc écrit ce texte moi-même...seulement je suis loin d'être bilingue alors pourriez-vous y jeter un coup d'œil?
Je vous remercie pour votre aide si précieuse.
Voici mon texte:
Thursday, January a final “Goodbye” and a day in London.
“Time to go ! Oh ! How short it was ! " Those are the first words that came to my mind when Anya came in the morning . Last breakfast with the family, the last conversation with Abdoulla, last hugs to the family and let’s go to London ! I was quite sad .
The program was scheduled to visit the Tower of London: it was huge and beautiful. Really, you should have seen ! What a surprise when I saw that the weather was so bad!
Today it guards the crown jewels and the biggest diamond in the world that decorates the scepter to the Cross ...
Alternately residence of kings, fortress or prison, a visit to the Tower of London is inescapable for those who come to admire the English capital.
The visit takes place on a treadmill, to avoid crowding around the jewels.
Before moving to the room where are exposed Treasures of the
Crown, you pass an enormous door, it is possible to stop a moment in front of screens on which you can watch movies about the bigs moments of the English monarchy: an easy way to discover English history and the different rulers, kings and queens who have
Succeeded in this country.
I could discover the history of this medieval fortress: it’s the ancient residence of the king of England. On the walls, we can see traces of the architecture of differents eras.
We also learned much from the white tower: the most famous part of the tower, an old prison. There is now an interesting collection of armor and weapons (swords, guns, cannons).
I also remember ravens flying above this majestic Tour. Indeed, accroding to a certain legend, the day when the last crow leaves the Tower of London, the monarchy will disappear.
Thanks to this visit , I’ve learnt a lot about the traditions of England. The Tower of London is the symbol of the British monarchy, which dominated the World from the eighteenth to the early twentieth century. This large place impressed me so much that I consider it as one of the best visits.
Then we had to eat in the bus because of the sad time. On the way, I saw with wonder the big wheel (installed during the transition to the year 2000) and we stopped in front of the palace Buckingam. It is the latest palace in London. It façade was sober an classic. Unfortunately, we could not visit it.
Then, the time of our last free time came. As the weather allowed it, we preferred to walk: to go through the numerous parks, to discover small public garden, and incredible façades of houses or shops "so British".
So, we went to go shopping. The city was huge and I felt very small in comparison. What I mean is that I was stunned by the beauty of this city: all these bigs stores, these larges cinemas and theaters, the many colors of the city… Each quarter, you see, is a small world in the city: Chinatown, Picadilly, and Circus…In this city, there is a lot of things to see, to do... I really felt all the animation of a particular environment and a microcosm in every part of the city ... All inspired me a tireless life which fascinated me ... You certainly have to envy me because London is a wonderful city for walking, and like all capitals, it everything has to offer to everybody. It is a beautiful city, with a superb architecture, fabulous monuments, parks extraordinary, English .... very English, amazings pubs, unbelievable party, anonymous, stars… There were shows in the theaters and on the streets, amazings taxis, red buses, typicals mailboxes … it was wonderful.
An incredible city, an incredible charm so british: London!
In short it was fantastic but I won’t tell you any more and I came back to my shopping … hum… once our window- shopping finished, my friends and me went to a bar rest… which was very pleasant. Then after waiting the latecomers to the Centre Point which was our pick-up point, we retook the road towards Portsmouth where we waiting for the ferry...besides we also had a break at the supermarket so as to buy food for our collective picnic. When we arrive in Portsmouth, we found the others students who were gone in England but in another city.
It was superb, we had a lot of things to tell us. Then we had dinner together, it was really good and I could to thrive of my last evening in the
England (the accompanying adult had a good idea!)
Around 11:00 it was time to embark on board a ferry. It was more beautiful even more beautiful than the previous ferry. As for bunks, they were much more comfortable. Therefore, the night was very quiet because we were all tired! However, the sea was rough, stormy and consequently some students were sick during the voyage.
After having slept well, another breakfast awaited us on board ferry, still delicious.
7.30: we got washed and we came out off the ferry, we were in France, at the port of embarkation in Ouistreham. It did me a strange feeling and I was nostalgic, thinking about again all these good times.
Then, we took the bus to go see the Bayeux tapestry in Normandy. It was gigantic and magnificent.
- First there was the Tapestry Gallery on the ground floor:
The visit was with an audio guide commenting on each of the 58 scenes.
The Bayeux Tapestry is a precious source historicals informations about the life during the XI century, as the vessels, meals, clothing, writing, the woman's place, the taste of or arms. It's really a masterpiece. Actually, the famous Bayeux Tapestry is a wool embroidery on a linen, which tells the conquest of the England’s throne by William the Conqueror, Duke of Normandy in 1066. But it also is a fascinating work as graphically as by the quality of its staging.
In a second phase, I saw an interpretation’s room in the first floor: Many thematic panels illustrated, maps and models about the life in Normandy and England in William Ier ‘s time were prsents in this room.
Finally, on the second floor, there was a cinema: in this room, a movie was projected onto Guillaume the Conqueror.
I must admit that I was fascinated by this visit. The comment on the Tapestry was very clear and very rewarding. I’d say that with the Tower of London it has been one of the best tours. There also was a bookshop in which our teachers bought books for our future accounts. Then when the tour ended, sadly because it was the last. The bus took us to "Relay of 3 apples" where a good meal was waiting for us. Then we took the bus where we looked 2 cassettes.
17:00: We arrived in Questembert, pleased to find our friends and parents, but sad to leave England also suddenly ... one week of travel thrilling and unforgettable during which the enconters, the paradisiacals places and the unusuals adventures were linked together during that stay. That way the dream ended ...
Well, dear diary, it’s the end of this exciting journey ... I hope to redo others trips as fascinating, because I’m longing to reopen you for new adventures ...
-----------------
Modifié par bridg le 24-02-2008 22:28
Changement de titre car "petit texte", vous êtes modeste
Il est demandé aux membres qui auront la gentillesse de répondre de signaler les fautes, d'aider le demandeur à se corriger mais de ne jamais faire le travail à sa place. Cette règle est incontournable sur ce site d'apprentissage. Merci de votre participation.
Réponse: Séjour (correction) de soso32, postée le 24-02-2008 à 22:38:01 (S | E)
Oui c'est vrai que sur ce coup là, j'ai peut-être été un peu modeste
...Toutefois, pourriez-vous m'indiquer mes erreurs, s'il vous plait?
