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Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
Tout ce qui a un rapport avec l'apprentissage de l'anglais: grammaire, orthographe, aides aux devoirs, phrases etc.

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Correction de phrases
Message de geek31 posté le 26-04-2007 à 18:10:41 (S | E | F | I)

Hello,

1/ I loved that girl like a fool, Indeed I was mad of her smile.

2/ To thanks me, she hurt my heart and stole it and burnt it in petrol.

3/ I was a normal boy until I saw the beautiful devil who is specially born to hurt me.

4/ Even now I don't know why I loved a trivial girl like her.

Could you correct me? Please... Thank you in advance.

Ps: Ces phrases ont été écrites par moi. Je voudrais simplement que vous les corrigiez.
Merci.

-------------------
Modifié par willy le 29-04-2007 17:30


Réponse: Correction de phrases de marlond, postée le 26-04-2007 à 18:22:23 (S | E)
1/ I loved that girl like a fool, Indeed I was mad of her smile.
- To be mad ABOUT something, donc, 'I was mad about her smile'

2/ To thanks me, she hurt my heart and stole it and burnt it in petrol.
- 'To thank me' - it's the infinitive with 'to' and it doesn't have an 's' on the end.
- 'hurt my heart' - not grammatically wrong, but you usually talk about 'breaking someone's heart', so 'she broke my heart'.

3/ I was a normal boy until I saw the beautiful devil who is specially born to hurt me.
- maybe 'that beautiful devil'
- 'who was born'
- 'specially' isn't wrong, but something like 'with the sole intention of hurting me' or 'whose role in life was to hurt me' would sound quite nice (well, not nice, obviously, but they'd be effective)

4/ Even now I don't know why I loved a trivial girl like her.
- 'trivial' isn't the right word - do you mean superficial or shallow (as in lacking any depth of emotion)?

-------------------
Modifié par marlond le 26-04-2007 18:23


Réponse: Correction de phrases de geek31, postée le 26-04-2007 à 19:56:17 (S | E)
1/ One day I saw a beautiful girl whose glance brought me back to life.

2/ I loved that girl like a fool, Indeed I was mad about her smile.

3/ To thank me, she broke my heart, stole it and burnt it in petrol.

4/ I was a normal boy until I saw that beautiful devil whose role in life was to hurt me.

5/ Even now I don't know why I loved a girl like her because she made me dumb, mad and miserable.

6/ I thought she was right, sensitive and gentle but unfortunately she was a devil and she has an unclean heart.

7/In other words, I was convinced that she was a human being and not animal such as dogs although dogs are more reliable.

I made some changement, what do you think?

Thanks


Réponse: Correction de phrases de hpesoj, postée le 29-04-2007 à 16:45:20 (S | E)
Presque bon! Juste un peu plus des choses:(à part deux ou trois petites choses)

6/ I thought she was right for me, sensitive and gentle but unfortunately she was a devil and she has had an unclean heart.

La façon dont vous dites "right" pourrait impliquer qu'elle était correcte dans ce qu'elle disait. Aussi, n'utilisez pas deux temps, utilisez l'un ou l'autre.

7/In other words, I was convinced that she was a human being and not an animal such as dogs a dog, although dogs are more reliable.

Autrement, bon travail!

Joe

-------------------
Modifié par willy le 29-04-2007 17:36


Réponse: Correction de phrases de marlond, postée le 29-04-2007 à 17:33:45 (S | E)
Deux ou trois autres petites choses:

2/ Pas de majuscule pour 'indeed'

6/ 'an unclean heart' - c'est un peu bizarre en anglais. Peut-être 'she was evil-hearted'?

Et en anglais, 'un changement'='a change'.

marlond


Réponse: Correction de phrases de omar92160, postée le 30-04-2007 à 11:32:28 (S | E)
1/ I loved that girl like a fool, Indeed I was mad of her smile.

2/ To thanks me, she hurt my heart and stole it and burnt it in petrol.

3/ I was a normal boy until I saw the beautiful devil who is specially born to hurt me.

4/ Even now I don't know why I loved a trivial girl like her.


1) I loved that girl as a fool, I was really mad about her smile

2) To thank me, she has hurt my heart and has stolen it and has burnt with petrol

3) I was normal until I have felt the beautiful devil who is especially borned to hurt me (your sentence is not clear. I need more details)

4) I don't know why I has loved so a trivial girl like her up to now (or so far) but trivial is not correct. You have to change it.






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