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Notion/Spaces and exchanges

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Notion/Spaces and exchanges
Message de laura267 posté le 18-04-2019 à 13:51:31 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis une élève de terminale S passant prochainement mes oraux de langues, j'aurais besoin de votre aide pour corriger mes fautes dans mes synthèses.
Merci pour votre aide.

To introduce the notion of “Spaces and exchanges”, I will give a definition. This notion is about the geographical and virtual across in which all societies live. It also about the interactions between societies and between men within these societies. I would like to illustrate this notion through the Ellis Island. In the 19th century, millions of people from all over the world took the decision to immigrate to the United States. Ellis Island, in New York, is the place where these people were sent once they reached the USA. Up until the 1950s, Ellis Island was the link between immigrants and their dream of a new life. My question will be: Why Ellis Island can be considered as a Spaces and exchanges place?

First of all, I will tell the story of Ellis Island. Ellis Island opened in 1892, and was used for the control of immigration. It is located in New York, near the Statue of Liberty. People immigrated to New York from all over the world, but most especially from Europe. For example, Irish people, who escaped famine and poverty or people from Poland, Greece, who escaped political and economical oppression in their countries. Today, a lot of American people have ancestors who came to America via Ellis Island. Some famous arrived on the territory by the Island, such as Charlie Chaplin, who was English. Next, when people arrived at Ellis Island, they had to be registered and examined by doctors and officials, who decided if they could enter the United States. Immigrants had to be patient and go through different procedures to be registered. They had to be in a good physical condition, have no mental problems or diseases, and their identities had to be checked. If people were allowed to live in the United States, they would settle in New York, or travel to other cities in the country. Most people succeeded in entering the USA: about 80% of the people were accepted on the territory every day.

Secondly, the USA had to controls the immigration. In fact, over the years, the United States passed some laws to regulate immigration, because they were welcoming thousands of new people every day. For example in 1907 a law is passed, that excludes all the people who have mental or physical illnesses. Children who arrive to Ellis Island without adults are also denied the right to come to the US. In 1917, there was the Literacy test, new immigrants arriving at Ellis Island need to past a test to show if they can read and write.

To conclude, Ellis Island was a place who immigrants come to live in the USA the American dream. But this immigration became more important and the US had to passed laws. immigration to America slowed down and decreased. So, Ellis Island closed in 1954 because of the Great Depression who hit the US in the 1930’s and today it has become a museum, officially called the Ellis Island Museum of Immigration. There, people can learn more about the island, about the immigration process and the history of immigration in the United States. The US are a country formed by their immigration, from all countries of the world, and Ellis Island represents this diversity.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 18-04-2019 14:17


Réponse : Notion/Spaces and exchanges de gerondif, postée le 18-04-2019 à 18:00:04 (S | E)
Bonjour
j'ai plus l'impression de voir un collage de paragraphes faits en cours qu'une démonstration.
Erreurs en bleu

To introduce the notion of “Spaces and exchanges”, I will give a definition. This notion is about the geographical and virtual across in which (?? à travers de laquelle) all societies live. It also about the interactions between societies and between men within these societies. I would like to illustrate this notion through the(à ôter) Ellis Island. In the 19th century, millions of people from all over the world took the decision to immigrate(emigrate) to the United States. Ellis Island, in New York, is (was) the place where these people were sent once they reached the USA. Up until the 1950s, Ellis Island was the link between immigrants and their dream of a new life. My question will be: Why Ellis Island can(inversez sujet et verbe) be considered as a Spaces and exchanges place?

First of all, I will tell the story of Ellis Island. Ellis Island opened in 1892, and was used for the control of immigration. It is located in New York, near the Statue of Liberty. People immigrated to New York from all over the world, but most especially from Europe. For example, Irish people, who escaped famine and poverty or people from Poland, Greece, who escaped political and economical oppression in their countries. Today, a lot of American people have ancestors who came to America via Ellis Island. Some famous arrived on the territory by the Island, such as Charlie Chaplin, who was English. Next, when people arrived at Ellis Island, they had to be registered and examined by doctors and officials, who decided if they could enter the United States. Immigrants had to be patient and go through different procedures to be registered. They had to be in a good physical condition, have no mental problems or diseases, and their identities had to be checked. If people were allowed to live in the United States, they would settle in New York, or travel to other cities in the country. Most people succeeded in entering the USA: about 80% of the people were accepted on the territory every day.

Secondly, the USA had to controls(infinitif, pas de s) the immigration. In fact, over the years, the United States passed some laws to regulate immigration, because they were welcoming thousands of new people every day. For example in 1907 a law is (was) passed, that excludes(prétérit) all the people who have(prétérit) mental or physical illnesses. Children who arrive(prétérit) to Ellis Island without adults are (prétérit) also denied the right to come to the US. In 1917, there was the Literacy test, new immigrants arriving at Ellis Island need(prété"rit) to past(take) a test to show if they can (prétérit) read and write.

To conclude,(mais vous continuez l'historique, vous ne concluez rien) Ellis Island was a place who immigrants come(prétérit) to live in the USA the American dream. But this immigration became more important and the US had to passed (infinitif)laws. immigration to America slowed down and decreased. So, Ellis Island closed in 1954 because of the Great Depression who hit the US in the 1930’s and today it has become a museum, officially called the Ellis Island Museum of Immigration. There, people can learn more about the island, about the immigration process and the history of immigration in the United States. The US are a country formed by their immigration, from all countries of(in) the world, and Ellis Island represents this diversity.




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