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Correction/Espaces et échanges

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Espaces et échanges
Message de lalob19 posté le 06-01-2018 à 14:34:11 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Est-ce que ce serait possible de corriger mes fautes ou de me les indiquer s'il vous plait?
Merci d'avance.

This text is an excerpt from Paradise News, written by David Lodge, a famous British writer. It was published in 1991. This passage, which is entitled "I always hated holidays", tackles the issue of mass tourism. The scene takes place in an airport and relates a conversation between two characters, namely Bernard Walsh, who is going away on holiday to Hawaii, and Sheldrake, who is an anthropologist studying tourism.

The very first words uttered by Sheldrake in this passage are : I always hated holidays , a statement in sharp contrast with public opinion.
Sheldrake uses multiple arguments to demonstrate the negative aspects of traveling, explains that in his case holidays have always been synonymous with boredom, he thinks that travel is only a waste of time and energy and triggers a lot of stress.
Despite, tourism is not what it was. It has turned into what is called mass tourism. Nowadays there is mass tourism, because more and more people have the opportunity to travel abroad. It's a constantly increasing trend ( 400 million international travellers in 1990 and 650 million in 2000) However accurate such figures may be, they nonetheless reflect a well-known fact of today's Western societies : every citizen from a developed country enjoys travelling, in their own countries or abroad. Sheldrake compare so tourists to pilgrims: many do not know why they travel but do it anyway, it's like a drug who for him the planet and causes environmental problems such as huge increase pollution caused by transport, hotels, roads, excessive consumption of water ...
Sheldrake debunks the myth of holidays and draws our attention on the notions of conformity and the loss of individual identities because a large majority of people choose the same destinations, we see elsewhere in this excerpt the list of must-sees. Paris, Venice, The Sistine Chapel, The Eiffel Tower, the Parthenon.

Despite, according to an audio understanding seen in class « Living in Siem Cambodia » we will see the benefits of tourism with the example of a gap year abroad au camboge. In this extract, a young man who lived in Australia decided to leave discovering the world, and to go to Cambodia. He tells his experience with young children because he was a volunteer teacher in a local school, and taught mostly english. For him, it was a great revelation, it allowed him to see how others live and the many differences between cultures. So, the turism still has many advantages, in this example, he is first human since volunteering practiced allows in the country to develop. It shows also that tourism and traveling are beneficial for the individual in himself, Those are a great way to grow as a person, discovering mobility until there unknown, and open your eyes on the world. It allows to confront each other to new cultures, new languages, new local customs. Moreover, allows also to operate the country's economy, the money may allow in the country to develop, to make infrastructures, to invest in research, education, etc.

To conclude, we see well that the tourism is a phenomenon expanding which includes many advantages as well as many disadvantages. But, I wonder all the same if the advantages prevail really on the disadvantages.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-01-2018 17:21


Réponse : Correction/Espaces et échanges de gerondif, postée le 06-01-2018 à 17:48:43 (S | E)
Bonjour
erreurs en bleu
This text is an excerpt from Paradise News, written by David Lodge, a famous British writer. It was published in 1991. This passage, which is entitled "I always hated holidays", tackles the issue of mass tourism. The scene takes place in an airport and relates a conversation between two characters, namely Bernard Walsh, who is going away on holiday to Hawaii, and Sheldrake, who is an anthropologist studying tourism.

The very first words uttered by Sheldrake in this passage are : I always hated holidays , a statement in sharp contrast with public opinion.
Sheldrake uses multiple arguments to demonstrate the negative aspects of traveling(orthographe us, traveling en anglais), explains that in his case holidays have always been synonymous with boredom, he thinks that travel(plutôt travelling) is only a waste of time and energy and triggers a lot of stress.
Despite(ne s'emploie pas seul), tourism is not what it was. It has turned into what is called mass tourism. Nowadays there is mass tourism, because more and more people have the opportunity to travel abroad. It's a constantly increasing trend ( 400 million international travellers in 1990 and 650 million in 2000) However accurate such figures may be, they nonetheless reflect a well-known fact of today's Western societies : every citizen from a developed country enjoys travelling, in their own countries or abroad. Sheldrake compare(le s du présent) so(mal placé pour traduire ainsi, à mettre en tête de phrase) tourists to pilgrims: many do not know why they travel but do it anyway, it's like a drug who for him(le dernier sujet mentionné(many) était pluriel)(là, il manque un morceau de phrase qui introduirait le complément planet) the planet and causes environmental problems such as huge increase pollution caused by transport, hotels, roads, excessive consumption of water ...
Sheldrake debunks the myth of holidays and draws our attention on the notions of conformity and the loss of individual identities because a large majority of people choose the same destinations, we see elsewhere in this excerpt the list of must-sees. Paris, Venice, The Sistine Chapel, The Eiffel Tower, the Parthenon.

Despite,(ne s'emploie pas seul) according to an audio understanding(ah, une compréhension ! ici, understanding a le sens de "merci pour votre compréhension". Une farce du traducteur ou du dictionnaire) seen in class « Living in Siem Cambodia » we will see the benefits of tourism with the example of a gap year abroad au camboge(là, le traducteur automatique que vous utilisez n'a pas pu traduire Cambodge mal orthographié). In this extract, a young man who lived in Australia decided to leave discovering (mettez les deux verbes sur le même plan, à l'infinitif comme dans; he decided to leave and find a job abroad)the world, and to go to Cambodia. He tells his experience with young children because he was a volunteer teacher in(ou at) a local school, and taught mostly english (majuscule). For him, it was a great revelation, it allowed him to see how others live and the many differences between cultures. So, the turism(pas de the + orthographe) still has many advantages, in this example, he is first human(mnque the. human est un adjectif, pas un nom) since volunteering practiced allows in the country to develop.(le verbe devrait être à la voix passive) It shows also(à placer devant le verbe) that tourism and traveling are beneficial for the individual in himself, Those are a great way to grow as a person, discovering mobility until there unknown, and open your eyes on the world. It allows to confront each other (maladroit) to new cultures, new languages, new local customs. Moreover, allows(ce verbe n'a pas de sujet) also to operate the country's economy, the money may allow in the country to develop, to make infrastructures, to invest in research, education, etc.

To conclude, we see well that the tourism is a phenomenon expanding(à placer devant le nom) which includes many advantages as well as many disadvantages. But, I wonder all the same if the advantages prevail really on the disadvantages.





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