Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
Tout ce qui a un rapport avec l'apprentissage de l'anglais: grammaire, orthographe, aides aux devoirs, phrases etc.
Essay : Space Conquest
Message de pooshy posté le 08-05-2006 à 11:23:13 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour. J'ai admiré l'efficacité et la précision de vos réponses de ces jours-ci, alors, définitivement, je vais devenir fidèle à ce site.
Voici un texte que je viens d'écrire à propros de la conquête spatiale. Une dissertation sur le thème : "Do you believe space conquest is necessary ?"
Je vous propose de le corriger si le coeur vous en dit, au niveau de la grammaire, de l'orthographe et de l'expression.
Merci beaucoup.
--------------------
Is space conquest really necessary ?
When humans started space conquest a few decades ago, they were excited by the numerous possibilities that space conquest could offer. They thought they could access to distant galaxies, they could colonize fertiles planets, they could satisfy their needs of resources... But today the reality isn't so bright. We will see why after having explained further the hopes of humans about space conquest.
There are several reasons to the space exploration :
-Get in touch with an hypothetical extra-terrestrial civilization, with which we could exchange technologies and cultures.
-Satisfy a very lack of resources : food, water, minerals, hydrocarbons...
-Find out new energies. There will be no more oil in about forty years. Today's new energies, Hydrogen, Wind's energy, Fusion, are much too expensive to be used to large scale.
-Have a place where we could settle if there was a big problem on Earth : abrupt change of climate, explosion of atomic bombs...These catastrophic scenarios get completely realizable today.
-Find out the answer to a big Issue : The one of the origins of humans and those of the universe. Is the universe infinite ? Is it not ? Why ? These questions have been bothering humans for many centuries.
Nevertheless, space conquest needs a lot of time. Humans are just getting aware about that. We will not make decisive discoveries before many years, certainly not before hundreds of years. We still miss many technologies to leave our solar system, without speaking about our galaxy.
And yet, the problems growing on Earth require times of resolution much, much shorter.
There won't be soon enough energy resources, neither enough drinking water, nor enough food. Demography undergoes an exponential growth. Nuclear power proliferates, wars multiply...The climate is deteriorating, the hole in the layer of ozone in widening.
So, is space conquest really necessary? Isn't the real problem on Earth, in humans themselves ?
Ultimately, it appears that in the long run, space conquest could offer immense wonders. But today, humans must have other concerns than to waste money in space. I think that science is useful when it is applied to popular ends. Exploration of space is far from being at this stage.
And then, wouldn't this be an expression of human vanity to want to mix with the stars ?
Message de pooshy posté le 08-05-2006 à 11:23:13 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour. J'ai admiré l'efficacité et la précision de vos réponses de ces jours-ci, alors, définitivement, je vais devenir fidèle à ce site.
Voici un texte que je viens d'écrire à propros de la conquête spatiale. Une dissertation sur le thème : "Do you believe space conquest is necessary ?"
Je vous propose de le corriger si le coeur vous en dit, au niveau de la grammaire, de l'orthographe et de l'expression.
Merci beaucoup.
--------------------
Is space conquest really necessary ?
When humans started space conquest a few decades ago, they were excited by the numerous possibilities that space conquest could offer. They thought they could access to distant galaxies, they could colonize fertiles planets, they could satisfy their needs of resources... But today the reality isn't so bright. We will see why after having explained further the hopes of humans about space conquest.
There are several reasons to the space exploration :
-Get in touch with an hypothetical extra-terrestrial civilization, with which we could exchange technologies and cultures.
-Satisfy a very lack of resources : food, water, minerals, hydrocarbons...
-Find out new energies. There will be no more oil in about forty years. Today's new energies, Hydrogen, Wind's energy, Fusion, are much too expensive to be used to large scale.
-Have a place where we could settle if there was a big problem on Earth : abrupt change of climate, explosion of atomic bombs...These catastrophic scenarios get completely realizable today.
-Find out the answer to a big Issue : The one of the origins of humans and those of the universe. Is the universe infinite ? Is it not ? Why ? These questions have been bothering humans for many centuries.
Nevertheless, space conquest needs a lot of time. Humans are just getting aware about that. We will not make decisive discoveries before many years, certainly not before hundreds of years. We still miss many technologies to leave our solar system, without speaking about our galaxy.
And yet, the problems growing on Earth require times of resolution much, much shorter.
There won't be soon enough energy resources, neither enough drinking water, nor enough food. Demography undergoes an exponential growth. Nuclear power proliferates, wars multiply...The climate is deteriorating, the hole in the layer of ozone in widening.
So, is space conquest really necessary? Isn't the real problem on Earth, in humans themselves ?
Ultimately, it appears that in the long run, space conquest could offer immense wonders. But today, humans must have other concerns than to waste money in space. I think that science is useful when it is applied to popular ends. Exploration of space is far from being at this stage.
And then, wouldn't this be an expression of human vanity to want to mix with the stars ?
Réponse: Essay : Space Conquest de jean31, postée le 08-05-2006 à 12:13:22 (S | E)
Bonjour pooshy,
Et flatteur avec ça !
Here we go.
... by the numerous possibilities (that) IT (=> évite la répétition du nom) could offer.
... fertilE planets... (=> adjectif invariable, à copier 100 fois ! ) ...their needs
But today, (0) reality (=> nom abstrait employé au sens général) isn't so bright.
There are several reasons to (0) space exploration.
- Satisfy a GREAT lack of resources: ...
... to be used to A large scale.
Humans are just getting aware OF that.
... to leave our solar system, NOT TO MENTION our galaxy.
And yet the growing problems on Earth require much, much shorter times TO BE SOLVED.
There won't be NEW/ALTERNATIVE energy resources soon enough, (=> ne pas séparer le COD de son verbe) NOR enough drinking water, nor enough food.
... in the ozone layer IS (faute de frappe) widening.
... than WASTING money in space.
That's about all I was able to notice.
Keep going.
Réponse: Essay : Space Conquest de traviskidd, postée le 08-05-2006 à 16:44:46 (S | E)
Very good essay!
I noticed some things that jean31 didn't spot. Here they are:
- I disagree with jean31; I think you are correct in writing "the reality", because you are referring to a specific reality: the reality concerning our hopes for space conquest.
- A (not AN) hypothetical.... (the H in "hypo-" is pronounced)
- Find/Discover new SOURCES of energy ("Find out" is closer in meaning to "learn" (and would be translated "savoir" in French).)
- These catastrophic scenarios HAVE BECOME completely realizable today (Don't overuse "get", which means "(se) rendre" or "(se) faire être".)
- [Find (out) the answer to]/Solve a BURNING QUESTION
- Space conquest TAKES/REQUIRES a lot of time
- Humans are just (now) BECOMING aware of that. (Same comment about "get".)
- We still LACK A GREAT AMOUNT OF THE TECHNOLOGY REQUIRED/NEEDED to leave our solar system....
- PRETTY SOON there won't be enough energy resources. (Jean31 misunderstood what you meant, I think.)
- when applied to THE BETTERMENT OF PEOPLE/HUMANITY
- Space exploration is far from bettering humanity at this stage.
- BUT then, wouldn't IT be THE ULTIMATE expression of human vanity....
Don't be discouraged by the number of corrections; if we are able to provide corrections and improvements to your essay it's because it was already well-written! A poorly-written essay would have simply been ignored.
Bon courage.
Réponse: Essay : Space Conquest de pooshy, postée le 08-05-2006 à 19:13:20 (S | E)
Merci bien pour vos réponses. Elle vous prennent du temps, alors ce sont des actes remarquables !
Réponse: Essay : Space Conquest de jean31, postée le 09-05-2006 à 12:48:50 (S | E)
You're really , pooshy.
Par définition, le bénévole n'a aucune notion du temps.